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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
I'm a sex addict. I have a difficult time viewing people as anything 
more than objects. This has kept me from encountering any real 
relationships in my life. It is as if the only emotion I feel is shame. 
How do I begin the process of recovery? 
 
Answer: 
 
Every person has been created with three inner needs for, love, 
significance, and security.  
 
Let’s talk about this issue of significance. If you were to say, “I don’t 
feel significant—if you really knew me, you wouldn’t want me. You 
wouldn’t value me.” As a result, you try to protect yourself by entering 
into a relationship with passion, not one based on a significant 
relationship, but because you’re trying to get your significance from 
that sense of passion. 
 
This is where some people do all kinds of things. It could be a peeping 
tom, or a flasher, a prostitute — we could go down a list of things. The 
issue is not what the action is, but wanting to have a need met, a 
genuine need met, and not getting it met legitimately.  
 
Well, the solution is by God’s design. He says, “I will meet your 
needs.” “My God will supply all your needs, according to his glorious 
riches in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19) That’s what the Bible says.  
 
So, how does He do that? Well, if you enter into a genuine relationship 
with Him, as your need-meeter, you may have unmet needs from 
childhood in the arena of love, but He says, “I have loved you with an 
 
 
everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness.” (Jeremiah 
31:3) 
 
And, in regard to significance, He says, “You’re so significant that I 
chose to create you.” Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans I have 
for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. 
Plans to give you hope and a future.” 
 
Life is a series of choices. You have the ability to choose what is right. 
At the time, you may think, “Oh, but I miss this so much, doing what I 
used to do.” Of course you’re going to miss it, because it’s a habit. 
But, God wants to enable you to have a new habit — a habit that gives 
you peace that passes all understanding. He will fulfill your life, as you 
make the decision, “I will not accept a counterfeit any longer, because 
all of that is a counterfeit. Instead, I want the real thing. God, I’m 
looking to You to be my true need-meeter. I thank You that You will 
give me people in my life, healthy people in my life. You’ll bring into 
my life healthy people that will not be an issue of erotic sex. You’ll 
bring healthy people into my life and there will be purity in those 
relationships. Thank You, God, that You will provide all my needs, 
according to Your riches, according to what You have already planned 
to do in my life.” 
 
Tell Him this. Be committed. Don’t accept a counterfeit. Counterfeit 
love will never work. You can count on Him, you can depend on Him to 
be your true need-meeter—then you will be set free. 
 
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