To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
 
 
iQuestions Faculty, Ron Blue 
 
 
Question: 
 
What should I know financially in regard to divorce, widowhood, or a 
second marriage? 
 
Answer: 
 
Three of the most significant events that happen to people that have 
financial consequences are divorce, widowhood, and second marriages. 
And as we look at each of them, the consequences of them are far 
different. One of the most tragic consequences is divorce, because 
typically now what you have are two parents and far less income and 
far less financial resources to go around, because you’re supporting 
two households. You have then a re-marriage of them, and you’ve got 
tremendous differences and expectations in terms of parenting. It’s a 
very, very tragic thing.  
 
The reality is that widowhood, while tragic, is less tragic in the long 
term, because you can deal with it, and there is finality. There’s an 
end to it, and you can deal with the grief. You can deal with the issues 
relative to widowhood. Whereas, divorce goes on for the rest of your 
life, because you’re now sharing children, in many, many cases. 
 
Here’s some of my counsel on it. Number one is take your time before 
making significant financial decision, when you have gone through a 
divorce or you’re widowed. I think for widows, I typically recommend 
don’t do anything for a couple of years. Wait until you have got your 
thinking re-oriented. Don’t listen necessarily to people who say you 
need to do this or you need to do that. It’s too early to make every 
financial decision, significant financial decision. Your investments can 
 
 
wait. Your major financial decisions can typically wait when you’re 
experiencing widowhood.  
 
So, in both cases, I say take your time. Secondly, I say seek good 
counsel. Get some good Christian counsel from somebody who can 
walk you through the process, who understands the emotional, the 
psychological consequences to this particular situation, as contrasted 
with and in conjunction with the financial consequences. Divorce and 
widowhood have financial consequences, but they’re far more 
consequential, as far as the emotional and the psychological.  
 
And then thirdly, I would say, in both cases, seek support groups. This 
should be your church, preferably, or other places that you can plug in 
where you get a support group. Other people have gone through 
divorce and have gone through widowhood. You need all the help and 
the encouragement and the support that you can get. And once again, 
these are emotional and psychological and not financial, but may have 
financial consequences. 
 
Then lastly, in the case of second marriages, my advice is really very, 
very simple. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Make sure 
that there is very clear communication going on, before entering into a 
second marriage. I have the opportunity to have had a single daughter 
who is in the process of getting engaged and re-married. And one of 
the things that has been so encouraging to Judy and I is the fact that 
they have communicated, communicated, communicated. They have 
worked through every issue that they can think of ahead of time. And 
they’ve gone to a second marriage class in their church to prepare 
them. You need to be prepared, because the complexities that come 
with second marriages can be monumental when you have two 
families that have come together, the whole blended family issue.  
 
So, take your time, seek good counsel, and get support groups. 
 
Blue -2- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.