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iQuestions Faculty, Ron Blue 
 
 
Question: 
 
What do you do when you and your spouse disagree in the area of 
giving? 
 
Answer: 
 
You know, in the area of giving, husbands and wives tend to disagree 
a lot—it comes back to a communication issue. A husband and wife 
need to be in agreement on what they’re going to do with giving.  
 
When my wife became a Christian, it was about two years before I did, 
and when she asked me about tithing, I just about went through the 
roof. I didn’t believe in giving, I didn’t believe, certainly, in tithing, and 
this was my money that I had earned. She didn’t ask me about it 
again. As a consequence of that, it opened me up to be willing to see 
the change in her life. Ultimately, when I became a Christian, when I 
committed my life to Christ, one of the big issues was what she had 
not done on the tithing issue.  
 
My counsel is—and this happens most of the time with women that 
say, “My unsaved spouse doesn’t believe in tithing. What should I 
do?”—God is far more interested in the relationship than He is the 
money. If tithing or giving is going to be a barrier to your spouse, your 
unsaved spouse, to even hearing the gospel, I certainly wouldn’t go 
ahead and do that. Now, you can maybe give out of your grocery 
money or you can find some other places that you can give. But if your 
unsaved spouse has a real big issue with that, I think God is far more 
interested in the relationship than He is in the money. 
 
 
 
And when husband and wife disagree, I would say, use the same 
counsel. It says in Ephesians 5, “Submit to one another in the fear of 
the Lord”—I would look at that as mutual submission to one another. 
It’s not one dominating or domineering over the other.  
 
So, when a husband and wife disagree, I typically recommend that you 
go to the lowest level denominator, the lowest level, and say, “This is 
what we’ll do now, and let’s test God on this and maybe we can 
increase it,” but it’s far more important that a husband and a wife 
come to an agreement than on how much you’re giving. 
 
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