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iQuestions Faculty, Joe White 
 
 
Question: 
 
How do you handle your kids turning 16 and getting their driver's 
license? 
 
Answer:  
 
Your child is ready to drive? Well, it’s not all bad. In fact, I consider 
the car the golden handcuffs of being a parent.  
 
You know, with every great freedom that your child has—and driving is 
a great freedom—come equal responsibilities. And I’ve counseled 
enough teenagers to know how important it was for me to do a really 
thorough job in making sure when my kids got the keys to drive a car, 
they were ready to drive the car.  
 
My favorite story is when one of my daughters got her learner’s 
permit. She was going to get it next day. She and I were together, and 
she decided that she was going to tell me about that before she went 
to bed. Very glibly, she said, “Hey, Dad. I get my permit tomorrow.” 
 
And I said, “Well, you know what? I think you might get that permit in 
thirty days.” 
 
And she said, “Thirty days? I’m going to get it tomorrow.” 
 
And I said, “No, actually, the attitude that you’ve had in the last three 
or four months, you know, the way you talked to your mom, the way 
you talked to your dad, et cetera, is not worthy of somebody who is 
going to be driving a car. So, improve your attitude, and you’ll get the 
driver’s permit.” 
 
 
 
She was madder than a hornet. And I said, “That’s what I’m talking 
about.” 
 
Parents, things like cars and cell phones and iPods, and so forth, 
demand responsibility—and it’s a great time to use that responsibility 
to teach some lessons. 
 
I was with a noted author and speaker, you know, a huge figure in 
public life, and his boy came home and told him, “Hey, Dad. I’m not 
going to smoke marijuana, but I’m going to have my wine coolers with 
my buddies.” 
 
And I was in the backyard with this guy, and he goes around and talks 
to everybody in the country about being a parent. And I said, “Are you 
kidding me? Whose Jeep is that in the driveway?” And he said, “That’s 
my son’s.” And I said, “No, really. Whose is it?” And he said, “Well, I 
paid for it.”  
 
And I said, “Do you men to tell me that you’re going to let your boy 
drive that Jeep, and he’s talking to you like that—he’s going to be 
breaking the law and drinking?” I said, “You’re kidding!” 
 
Well, the next day, he gave the Jeep away to a pastor who needed the 
Jeep more than his boy did, and that boy began to straighten up. 
 
When my youngest son got his driver’s license, the night before I 
asked him to go in his room and write a contract. Now, you’re going to 
see in a minute why sometimes my kids really like me, and sometimes 
they thought I was the biggest villain in their life. But I asked him to 
make a contract before he was going to get the car keys.  
 
And by the way, my kids had a little scripture memory assignment 
before they could get the car keys. That’s another story. 
White -2- 
 
 
 
But after he memorized the scripture, I asked him to make out the 
contract. And I said to include alcohol, include drugs—now, my boy is 
the quarterback of the football team; he was very popular; girls were 
always after him, et cetera—and I was trying to get everything in this 
one contract. And I said, “Talk about keeping the law.” 
 
And I said, “At the bottom of it, you write down the punishment if you 
break one of these rules.” And it was one month without keys. 
 
He signed it, he brought it upstairs, and I signed it. It was a good 
contract. The next day, he got the keys. 
 
About thirty days went by, and I was coming in one night, flying 
somewhere, and my cell phone rang in my car. It was about 10:30, 
and it was him, and I knew he was in trouble. I knew he was in 
trouble.  
 
And he said, “Hey, Dad. I got a speeding ticket.” 
 
And I said, “Well, you know there’s a penalty for that.” 
 
And he said, “Yes sir, I know. It’s on my contract.”  
 
And I said, “In the morning, put the keys on the dresser.” 
 
And he said, “I understand.” 
 
I said, “Thirty days, after you do everything right, then you can have 
the keys again.” 
 
Now, I’m not mean, but as a daddy, I’ve got to be firm. And then 
when they get behind the car again, they’ll have a whole lot more 
respect for the law they broke the first time. 
White -3- 
 
 
 
It’s going to be a learning experience, but that is a great opportunity 
to talk about respect, talk about grades, talk about social pressures, 
talk about obeying the laws, et cetera. And it will be a win for you in 
your house. It really will. If you’ll handle it right, the car keys will be a 
win for you in your house. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
White -4- 
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