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iQuestions Faculty, Joe White 
 
 
Question: 
 
What is the best thing a wife can do for her husband and vice versa? 
 
Answer:  
 
What’s the greatest a wife can do for her husband? What’s the 
greatest thing a husband can do for his wife? What’s the greatest thing 
a Dad can do for his kids? It’s all wrapped up in the same answer: The 
greatest gift I can give my kids is to love their mom. The greatest their 
mom can do for her kids is to love her husband. 
 
I think, specifically, the greatest need of every man in America, 
believe it or not, is not sex. According to the vast number of surveys 
that have been done, the greatest need of every man in America is to 
be encouraged at home. 
 
I don’t know why, but for a lot of wives, it’s a very difficult subject—
and maybe for you this is difficult—but I need to tell you that one of 
the reasons that men go out and find their joy away from home, with 
some other woman, with the internet or whatever, is because they feel 
lonely in their own home. Men feel lonely today in their own home.  
 
And, a lot of wives would say, well, my husband’s encouraged in his 
job, so that’s enough. I get a lot of accolades. I’m a speaker and a 
writer and things like that. And you know, it doesn’t really mean that 
much to me. But when I get encouragement from my wife, it thrills me 
more than you can imagine.  
 
My wife is a quiet encourager. Oftentimes when I’m getting out of the 
shower, there’ll be a little towel, fresh towel, folded, just sitting by the 
 
 
shower. It’s maybe a small thing, but to me it’s huge. Sometimes 
she’ll even slip by the sink and she’ll put a little toothpaste on the 
toothbrush. I know who did that. Occasionally there’ll be a little love 
note—just a little sticky right there—in fact, the last love note she 
gave me was on the last card game we played that she had saved 
where she beat me 106 to 105, and she said, “Thinking of you,” you 
know with a little heart, tongue in cheek. 
 
But, for a wife to encourage her husband, it puts wind in our sails. I 
can take any kind of difficulty at work, or in my speaking career, if my 
wife is my encourager, if she’s behind me in what I do. I can do almost 
anything. Turn the tables. I know my biggest job is to love her and 
encourage her. And I don’t do nearly as much as I ought to.  
 
But I have a goal to do something nice for my wife every day. It’s just 
a goal that I keep kind of hidden in my quiet vocabulary. Every day I’ll 
do something special for Debbie Jo. Something precious. And 
sometimes she sees it and sometimes she doesn’t.  
 
But I know as a man, we don’t get points, like a hundred points for 
roses. We get just one point for everything we do. And so, it’s a 
constant thing in our home. And you know the great thing as a parent? 
The best thing I could do for my kids as I love my wife is to role model 
for my kids. It’s not what I say to my kids. But it’s what my kids see 
me doing.  
 
So, as you encourage your husband, husbands, as you encourage your 
wife, you’re teaching your kids how to be great encouragers too, and 
that’s one of the greatest gifts you can give them in their growing up 
years. 
 
 
 
White -2- 
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