To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
 
 
iQuestions Faculty, Joe White 
 
 
Question: 
 
What is the appropriate age to date? 
 
Answer:  
 
Well, the phone rang. My daughter was only a freeman—that’s pretty 
young—and it was prom. The boy was 6’ 5”. He was a senior. I wasn’t 
excited about that.  
 
I wanted to make absolutely sure, though, that I made an impact on 
the high school. The next time the phone rang, and somebody asked 
my daughter for a date, I picked up the phone. In fact, I was 
answering the phone every time it rang, because I knew that that boy 
was probably going to call. 
 
I said, “Hello?” 
 
He said, “Hello, is Jamie there?” 
 
And I said, “What do you want?” 
 
Now, I’m an old football coach and football player, and so the football 
came out of me a little bit when I said, “What do you want?” 
 
He said, “I want to talk to Jamie.” 
 
And I said, “What about?” 
 
And he said, “Well, I want to ask her to the prom.” 
 
 
 
And I said, “Well, maybe you’d better ask her father first.” 
 
He said, “Well, can I take her?” 
 
I said, “Well, I want you to ask me in person.” 
 
And he said, “In person?” 
 
I said, “Yeah, in person.” 
 
He said, “I don’t want to go that bad.” 
 
I said, “Josh, you’re 6’ 5”, you’re the biggest hoodlum—I mean, you’re 
the biggest kid in the high school. Surely you’ve got the guts to come 
over and ask the old man.” 
 
Now, I was going to let her go to prom under very careful 
circumstances, I wasn’t going to let her date—she was a freshman—
but I was going to let her go to a school function. But I wanted to 
make sure that Josh and all the other boys knew that those were 
daddy’s little girls that they were going to dancing with at the prom. 
 
So, Josh came over. 
 
Now, I have large friends, because I run sports camps. My biggest 
friend’s name is Stefan. He’s 6’ 9”, and he weighs 300 or more 
pounds. So, Stefan puts on a black suit, a black tie, and black 
sunglasses, and he’s standing in front of the front door, like eclipse of 
the front door, like he’s in the CIA.  
 
I have another friend who’s a soldier, and he got a camouflage hat, 
and camou shirt—he’s, you know, in combat—and he had combat 
boots on. And he had my son’s deer rifle, and he’s standing next to 
Stefan with the rifle.  
White -2- 
 
 
 
We got a little carried away. 
 
So, here comes this high school senior, thinking he’s the center on the 
basketball team—and he was the biggest thing in the high school—and 
Stefan began to interrogate him. He stepped into him, and he said, 
“Josh? I hear you want to take Jamie Joe to the prom.”  
 
And Josh looked up at a man for the first time in his life, and he said, 
“Yes, sir.” 
 
And Stefan said, “Josh, Jamie Joe’s my little sister.” 
 
And Josh says, “Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, sir.” 
 
And then the soldier looked at the boy, and he said, “Hey, you’ve been 
out smoking dope and burning American flags, haven’t you?” 
 
And the kid goes, “Man, I don’t even light matches! Give me a break, 
man!” 
 
So, I just came out after that interrogation, and I said, “Hey, Josh, 
what time are you going to bring my daughter home?” And he’s 
thinking, “8:30? Is that early enough?” You know, the funny thing 
about that—and Jamie was in the bushes filming, by the way. We have 
a video of this, if you think I’m lying. 
 
But four years later, a boy called Courtney to take her on a car date to 
the prom, and I want to make sure she double-dated, and when he 
called, I answered the phone and I said, “Peter, do you know who this 
is?” And he said, “I’ve heard about you, man!”  
 
It was four years later, and the reputation was still strong at his 
school. 
White -3- 
 
 
 
Folks, dating is not about age. Dating is about the right attitude. 
Dating is about the right relationship. And some might say, “When my 
child is sixteen, then he’s ready to date.” Well, maybe. Maybe not. 
When a child is fourteen, sometimes they’re ready to do things with 
boys or with girls in certain circumstances.  
 
But it’s about you as a parent thinking through the circumstances—
whether they’re fourteen or sixteen or eighteen—is thinking through 
the circumstances, and thinking through the maturity of the child in 
those circumstances, and adjusting the circumstances to match the 
maturity, to match the honesty, to match the ability to follow the 
rules, to make sure that you know the boy or the girl that they’re 
going out with, and that you’re comfortable with the plans that that 
person has. 
 
To think that your child is sixteen, and now they’re free to go 
anywhere they want to go—be careful, because terrible, awful things 
are happing to kids under the “dating” title in the day in which you and 
I live. 
 
So, as a parent, make sure they have responsibility in their life. Make 
sure they are ready to go on a date. Double-dating, group-dating, 
showing the maturity to go on single dates—when you get some of 
those basics done, then it’s easier to say, “Now my child is ready to go 
out on their first car date.” 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
White -4- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.