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iQuestions Faculty, Joe White 
 
 
Question: 
 
What are some ideas for developing a happy home?   
 
Answer:  
 
There were times when my home wasn’t so joyful. Wow! WCW 
Wrestling could have filmed by house some days. I always wanted a 
joyful home. I always wanted a happy home. And you know what? By 
the grace of God, we did have a lot of happy times in our home, just 
like you’re having in your home. 
 
But if there’s one slogan, one focal point in a home that will increase 
the joy of a home—whether it’s difficult times or great times in a 
home. It comes out of Jesus’ greatest words. In fact, He said it was 
the “greatest commandment.”  
 
In the last week of His life, as He was being questioned in the temple, 
the attorneys of the day came up to Him, and they said, “Jesus, what 
is the greatest commandment?” He quickly said, “It’s to love the Lord 
your God with all your heart, and to love your neighbor as yourself.” 
 
At the summer sports camps that I run, we call it “I’m Third.” It’s 
putting God first (“Love the Lord your God with all your heart”); it’s 
putting the other person second (“Love your neighbor as yourself”); 
and then putting yourself third. 
 
God First, Others Second, and I’m Third. 
 
You know what? Kids love the motto. They wear these little things 
around their necks. In fact, the highest award we give at our camp is 
 
 
the “I’m Third” award. Funny thing—isn’t it?—that the highest award 
would be to the most humble child in the camp, the one who loves to 
serve his friends.  
 
It started with us in our home, when we memorized scripture together. 
We started when our kids were three years old, and it was the best 
thing that we ever did in our home. We’d start off memorizing John 
3:16, we’d start memorizing the 23rd Psalm, but very soon we started 
in the Book of Philippians. In chapter 2—you’ve read the passage 
many times—it says, “Have this attitude in yourself, which was also in 
Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:5) 
 
So, our kids memorized the verse, and I’ll never forget the next 
morning, they were squabbling over who was going to sit by Mommy, 
or who was going to have the pretty cereal bowl—I forget what it 
was—and I simply said, “Hey, what was that Bible verse we 
memorized last night?” 
 
I’ll never forget my little boy saying, “Have this attitude in yourself 
which was also in Christ Jesus.” 
 
I said, “What kind of attitude are you having now?” 
 
He said, “Well, I’m having a selfish attitude.” 
 
And I said, “What do you need to do?” 
 
He said, “I need to change my attitude and share that with my brother 
or with my sister.” 
 
In a more sophisticated way, in junior high and high school, it gets 
into learning how to share your clothing or share the car keys.  
 
White -2- 
 
 
The “I’m Third” attitude in the home—putting God first in everything, 
putting the other person second in everything—is the most important 
thing to teach kids, but it’s the most difficult thing to teach kids.  
 
And, parents, it’s got to start with you. If I want my home to be an 
“I’m Third” home, then the responsibility falls on me. Whoever the 
leader of the home is—Mom, Dad, both of us as a couple—has got to 
lead first in serving.  
 
If there are dirty dishes in the sink, that’s my job. If I enjoy doing that 
job, then my boys are going to enjoy doing that job. When I love 
serving my wife, when I love serving my kids, then my kids are going 
to love to serve each other. You know, my kids are just a little mirror 
of what they see in their daddy and they see in their mom.  
 
The “God First” part of the “I’m Third” is where kids learn to really and 
truly not just obey God but to love God. Again, moms and dads, that 
comes out of our heart. If God’s Word, the Bible, is a love-letter to me, 
if it’s a treat to get into the Word, if I’m excited about my quiet times, 
and sharing something about my quiet times, then my kids are going 
to begin to catch the excitement that I have about my times with the 
Lord. 
 
As you allow the Spirit of God to work through you in putting God first, 
putting the other person second, and putting yourself third, the kids 
are going to catch it. If there’s one thing that we can help our kids 
catch that will help them be happy kids, help them be successful kids, 
and help joy prevail in our home—if all of us will stay committed—it’s 
the “I’m Third” way to live.  
 
In fact, on our mantle, we have a plaque in walnut that just says, “I’m 
Third”—simplest plaque in the world. Jesus said, “If you want to be the 
greatest, be the servant of all.” That’s the privilege of being a dad. It’s 
the privilege of being a mom. 
White -3- 
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