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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. David Eckman 
 
 
Question: 
 
How can men help women who are struggling with food issues? 
 
Answer: 
 
Men can be a tremendous help to women as they’re struggling with 
food issues. 
 
One of our cultural problems is that oftentimes the genders are 
separated from each other as they address these issues. When women 
struggle with food issues, they are by themselves. When men are 
struggling with pornography issues, they are by themselves, and it’s 
critically important for the genders to understand the peculiar 
struggles that each gender has, and sympathetically help the other 
gender. 
 
A tremendous message that men can share with women is that 
attraction is more than what the man sees, that there is such a thing 
of chemistry of personality, and chemistry of character, and chemistry 
of intellect.  
 
Usually, after about ninety seconds, the appearance is filed away and 
then the typical male will begin to listen to the chemistry of the 
intellect, the personality, the relationship, and then that’s where the 
package of attractiveness comes from. 
 
Where guys could be really helpful to their wives, to their daughters, 
to other women, is to point out what’s really valuable— the person 
within, the qualities of mind, the qualities of relationship— and place a 
real appreciative value on them. 
 
 
 
We need, as men, to savagely fight for our female friends against this 
vicious culture. Our culture wants to reduce women to merely how 
they appear, and we should not permit that to happen. 
 
Our daughters, our wives, the women we know are too significant to 
be reduced to their appearance, and men can do a tremendous favor 
for women by appreciating in a positive way in making healthy 
comments about personality, about intellect, about will, about 
integrity— things that matter for the long term. 
 
We can be tremendously helpful, especially when we let them know 
that beauty is more than skin-deep. 
 
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