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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Kevin Leman 
 
 
Question: 
 
How do I motivate my son to do his homework? 
 
Answer:  
 
There’s an age-old question for you: “How do you get a kid to do his 
homework?”  
 
Well, number one: you want to provide him a place to do it. He needs 
some quiet. You know, kids want to do their homework with the TV 
blaring, or the stereo, or worse yet, an iPod in their ears. Once those 
things are set, it seems to me that if a job isn’t done, such as 
homework, there ought to be a consequence. The consequence ought 
to be where—in the home or school? In the school. By the way, in 
most school systems, you can get on your phone and touch-tone a key 
number, and you will get the assignments over the phone, and you will 
be kept abreast.  
 
But don’t hover over your son or your daughter. Give them a specific 
period of time to do their homework. If it’s not done, get on the phone 
and call the teacher and ask this question: “Could you help me?” Do 
you know how difficult it is to say, “No, I’m not going to help you. 
Drop dead”? Most people, when you ask this question are going to say, 
“Well, yeah. How can I help you?”  
 
“Well, we’re having a problem with our son here are home. He’s not 
the greatest student in the world, but what’s really getting us uptight 
is the fact that he doesn’t do his homework. Now, there might be 
reasons. You know, he might need a tutor. And I’d be glad as a 
 
parent, to foot the bill for tutoring, if that were necessary.” But you 
know, a lot of it is just laziness, and kids get by with it.  
 
And so, if the home and school can work together so there’s 
accountability at the school level; you’re in business. Now, what 
makes this sort of fun is that a kid’s responsibilities are basically dual 
in life. Number one: they have responsibility in the home, and they 
have responsibility in the school. Well, if schoolwork isn’t done, then 
life doesn’t continue. What do I mean by that? Well, he doesn’t play 
soccer Saturday morning. He doesn’t go to the golf tournament that he 
was promised you were going to take him to; only because he’s got 
work to do. Work comes before play.  
 
Now, this isn’t rocket science folks. But I’m telling you that you, as a 
parent, have to stand up and be an authority over your kid. So, talk to 
that teacher. And let your kid know that you mean business. And that 
you have positive expectations for him; that he can handle it. Don’t 
get dragged into it, and don’t be doing the homework for the kids, and 
don’t turn your home into a schoolhouse for three hours every night. A 
lot of parents do that. It’s not a good idea.  
 
And many parents, particularly parents of faith, when they hear 
someone like me say, “Hey, life doesn’t continue until the homework’s 
done.” “Well, certainly, Dr. Leman, you don’t mean youth group. 
Because we think that’s very healthy for little Horace.” I’ve got news 
for you. He shouldn’t be going to youth group unless his homework is 
done. Is it a right or a privilege for an education? Well, I guess we 
could debate that until the cows come home. But the point is; that 
you’re going to hold your child accountable, and once he learns that 
he’s not going to grandma’s house for dinner, that he’s not going to 
his friends’ house to play, that he’s not going to play in the soccer 
league anymore; now you’re beginning to hit him where it hurts, and 
at least you’re going to get his attention. 
 
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It seems to me, he has a choice to make: to stand up to the plate and 
do what life requires of him, or not. You know the great business 
writer Stephen Covey said, “Start with the end in mind.” Well, what do 
you want your kids to be like when they leave the nest?  
 
Do you realize that you’re packing their baggage right now? And when 
they leave, what are they going to have in that baggage? A bunch of 
excuses? You know, excuses make the weak weaker. I want my kid to 
be value-oriented. I want him to have virtues. I want him to have the 
stuff inside that when someone comes to him and says, “Hey, smoke 
this, snort this, drink this,” that they will be cool enough to say, “You 
know what? I don’t need that in my life. No thanks.” 
 
Well, how do they get that? They get it from you and the teaching that 
you do in the home. So, teaching a kid to work hard and to finish 
things they start is really good stuff for your son or daughter. Does it 
always taste good? No. The medicine doesn’t always taste good, but it 
ends up being good for you. 
 
 
 
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