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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Kevin Leman 
 
 
Question: 
 
When should I stop using spanking as a form of discipline? 
 
Answer:  
 
Certainly before they start spanking you. 
 
But seriously, you know, age seven or eight would be absolutely the 
max that I would ever suggest for a parent to spank. 
 
You know, again, it’s one of those things that most parents don’t do 
well. I would say of the hundred spankers, probably two out of that 
hundred do spanking well. What happens is, we get mad and angry. 
We strike out. We overdo things. Again, I like the hand as a good 
barometer, because it tells you specifically just how hard you hit a 
kid—and it’s a corrective measure. That’s all it is. 
 
So, it’s seven or eight when it’s time to hang up the spanking. It’s best 
to avoid spanking. Spanking is—I’ve said many, many, many times—is 
a last resort. Sometimes it helps. It helps you, probably, more than 
the kid.  
 
So, you want to sent your kid off to school or to bed at night with 
happy thoughts about their family, about their home, about you, and 
so many parents, just out of frustration, don’t know what else to do, 
and they do what happened to them. 
 
How many times as an adult have you told yourself this: “You know, I 
will never say to my daughter or my son what was said to me”? Not 
only do you use the same words, but the same tone and inflection! 
 
 
And you hear it! You can’t believe you said it! Why? Because that’s 
what you grew up with. 
 
Some of us have a battle before us, and that is to unlearn previously 
learned behavior that we grew up in our home with. 
 
So, the parameters? Never spank before two years old, and certainly 
wrap that up by seven or eight, and use it sparingly and lovingly.   
 
 
 
 
Leman -2- 
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