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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Kevin Leman 
 
 
Question: 
 
I'm the baby of the family. How does birth-order influenced who I will 
become? 
 
Answer:  
 
You know, if there is a middle name for baby of the family, it would 
probably be “fun.”  
 
Speaking of fun, as an author, I have always had fun with my 
readership. You know, I’ve written thirty books, and when people say 
the name, “Kevin Leman,” they think of a couple of things: a chubby 
little psychologist from Tuscan, Arizona, who is close to death, and 
also the author of The Birth Order Book.  
 
Well, I had fun in that book. I think it was chapter nine where I talked 
about the youngest child in the family, and I started off the chapter 
with, “Hey, listen. I just want you youngest children to know I’m on to 
you. I know you started the book here at chapter nine, and I just want 
to remind you that there’s eight other chapters previous to this one.” 
 
You know, that is so much like us babies—yes, I’m the baby of the 
family. I had a brother who was perfect, near-perfect, above me. He 
was the middle one. And then there was the perfect one, my sister. 
She was the one who put the newspaper under the coo-coo clock. She 
was the one who did things extremely right in life.  
 
And my brother, of course, was the quarterback on the football team 
and voted “best-looking.” One of my clear, early childhood memories 
 
 
in life was getting to wear his number 12, the quarterback number, to 
school when I was in seventh grade. 
 
You know, I think back, and the lie I believed about myself was, “I 
couldn’t do it.” I couldn’t do it, why? Because I followed two very 
successful children in my family.  
 
The truth of the matter is, later on in life, mainly when I was almost 
twenty-two years of age, my life did a 180 and it turned around. And, 
for the record, it turned around out of knowing that there really was a 
God. That’s what really set my life in motion. God gave me motivation, 
and the rest is history. 
 
But looking back, you know, I think I tied into that lie. When I was 
growing up in western New York state, I referred to my brother, Jack, 
as “God.” That was my nickname for him, “God.” And I’d say, “God’s 
home!” and he would come over and just pound me. I mean, my left-
shoulder hurts just saying, “God.” Sometimes in church when I hear 
“God,” I flinch in my left shoulder, because he used to just pound me. 
He was Big Brother, a big football player, and I was a skinny little 
basketball, baseball player.  
 
Well, anyway, the “least likely to grow up to become President of the 
United States” is, guess who? The baby of the family. Only five babies 
have ever made it to the White House—the most famous of all was a 
guy named Ronny Reagan. Nancy Davis Reagan, an only child, called 
President Reagan “Ronny.” 
 
The insiders said that was a great marriage, by the way. An only child, 
and the baby of the family. 
 
Speaking of babies, I mean, my goodness: comedians. Think of a 
comedian right now. Just think of one. Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy, 
Goldie Hawn, Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Martin Short, Chevy Chase, 
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Leslie Nielson, Whoopi Goldberg, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart, the 
late John Candy—talk about a funny guy—and hope about the father of 
comedy, Charlie Chaplin. All babies of the family.  
 
Are all comedians firstborns? No. Bill Cosby—I did a little event with 
him, got to know him a little bit—firstborn son. Check this out: he 
named all of his kids with the letter “E,” to remind them to pursue 
excellence in life. Now, there’s your firstborn. A little different than us 
babies, for sure. 
 
If you think about it, think of your friends, for example. Most of your 
friends are firstborn, if you’re a youngest child. The old adage about 
“birds of a feather flock together” is true.  
 
But in marital relationships, what? It goes the opposite direction. In 
other words, the stronger relationships are between the only child and 
the baby. The firstborn and the baby.  
 
Anyway, babies of the family: social, out-going, never met a stranger, 
manipulative. These are people who could do great in sales, okay? I 
mean, they are the ones who are most-likely to come on late in the 
stretch of life, because a lot of firstborns and middle-children write off 
the little baby brother or sister. “Oh, don’t pay any attention to her. 
Don’t pay any attention to him.” Watch out, because that baby just 
might lap you before the journey’s over. 
 
So, they come to the table with a lot of social presence. The can be 
very persuasive people. Again, they thrive on social relationships. 
They’re very, very perceptive of what’s going on in life.  
 
So, if you have a baby in the family, they’re great at slithering out of 
work. The older children get saddled with the work. The second-born is 
great at making excuses for getting out of things. So, to be a good 
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parent, you want to be sure that that firstborn isn’t saddled with 
everything. 
 
By the way, when a kid hits fourteen or fifteen years of age, and starts 
to get more active in school, that’s the time to release some of those 
responsibilities and give them to later-born children. So, make sure 
little schnooky, the baby of the family, gets his or her fair share of the 
responsibilities.  
 
Oh, and one other thing about us babies in the family. Hey, Momma do 
you want to do something for your little baby in the family? Find them 
a little firstborn or only child to marry. It’s a great combination. See 
you at the wedding!  
 
 
 
 
 
 
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