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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Kevin Leman 
 
 
Question: 
 
Does your birth order effect your buying patterns? 
 
Answer:  
 
You know, if you understand birth order, and you’re a business person, 
you’ve got an ace in your back pocket, and you can play it at any time.  
 
As a speaker, I get a chance to speak to Fortune 500 companies, to 
the YPO—Young President’s Organization. I mean, talk about a high-
powered group of people. These are people, under 50 years of age 
who are the heads of major corporations in America. Now, you tell me, 
what would they want some chubby psychologist by the name of Kevin 
Leman to come and address them? Because I talk with them about 
birth order, and how people buy and sell differently. 
 
If you’re a first-born child, let me tell you how you buy a car. You read 
Car and Driver, you read Consumer’s Report. In fact, you know more 
about the car than the salesman trying to sell it to you.  
 
But if you’re a little schnooky, like me, a baby in the family, do I buy a 
car like a firstborn? No.  
 
See, it’s all about relationships and understanding who you’re dealing 
with. A baby in the family, like me, I walk on a car lot and I say such 
things as, “Do you have a teal green one? You do?! Shazaam! And it’s 
got gold trim? I’ll take it!” Sixty payments later, I’m wondering, “What 
did I buy that stupid car for?” Babies in the family do things at the 
spur of the moment.  
 
 
 
Speaking of the spur of the moment, check this little dude [a watch] 
out. This is not the Timex you get at Walgreen’s. I don’t know if you 
can see it very good, but it’s gold—real gold—and it’s got 48 diamonds 
on it.  
 
I was going to a place called Dillard’s one evening, for underwear—
extra large—and I was walking through the mall, and they have this 
watch, this very watch, under a high-intensity lamp. I’m walking by, 
and it catches my eye. I look down at it, and I said to myself, 
“Shazaam!” and I’m staring at it. And I’m staring at it so long, that I 
don’t even notice that the woman clerk comes out next to me, and she 
says, “Isn’t that a beautiful watch?”  
 
I said, “Uh, yeah.”  
 
She said, “It’s on sale.” 
 
“On sale?” 
 
“Just $3800.” 
 
Do I look like a guy that wears a watch that costs $3800 on sale? I 
grew up in Buffalo, New York. We didn’t have a watch. We looked at 
the sun in Buffalo, when it came out—which is about four days a year, 
by the way. 
 
But anyway, here I am in a mall, and I put this $3800 on my American 
Express card—which you have to know, at the time, the year is 1981, 
and I don’t have $3800. I bought the stupid watch! 
 
Now I’ve got a problem, because I’m wearing it home, and my 
firstborn wife awaits me, and I didn’t have the courage to say, “Look 
what I did,” because I knew what I did was wrong. And so, finally she 
saw it, and she said, “What is that?” I said, “That’s my watch. Don’t 
Leman -2- 
 
 
you love it?” She said, “That is the tackiest thing I ever saw in my 
life?” She said, “How much was that?” I avoided that whole area. Trust 
me. 
 
But I’m telling you, babies of the family jump in and do things like 
that. We get ourselves in trouble. And one of the things I try to teach 
business people is, know who you’re dealing with. 
 
Take a look at this person’s office that you’re visiting. Let’s say you’re 
trying to sell a person software, and you have an appointment, a half-
hour appointment. Take a look around the office. Is everything 
orderly? Or are there piles on the desk? Does the person look like the 
exquisite business-person, nattily dressed? If they do, in all probability 
they’re a firstborn personality. 
 
Now, do you ever ask someone, “Excuse me, what’s your birth order?” 
If you do, you’re not going to get very far. They’re going to write you 
off as a nut. Never ask anyone their birth order, but take mental 
notes, and you’ll know how to approach people differently. 
 
For some people who are fun-loving babies, you make the sale on the 
golf course. For others, like that stereo-typical firstborn, you come 
with your little list, you’re brief, you’re succinct, you go through your 
list, and check this out, you give that person a negative about your 
product or service.  
 
Now, you show me a book on sales that says, “Share a negative about 
your product or service.” I’m telling you, it makes all kinds of 
psychological sense why. Because, that firstborn or only-born child 
you’re trying to sell—I’ve got news for you—he knows the flaw in your 
service, he knows the flaw in your product, because he’s done his 
homework. You’ve got a half-hour meeting, and you’ll be out in fifteen 
minutes. 
 
Leman -3- 
 
 
You sell people different. People buy differently.  
 
Those of you who are into marketing, there are all kinds of 
repercussions about birth order. Again, keep in mind that there are 
firstborns or only-children—they’re first cousins, emotionally—do 
things completely different than us babies. 
 
And by the way, you’re trying to sell the middle-child, purchasing 
agent something in a big company? Why don’t you say to him or her, 
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. I would like to host a luncheon. You make the 
call, you tell me the restaurant you want to be in, and you invite the 
key people from your company you’d like to have there, and I’ll pick 
up the tab.” Paying attention to a middle child, you just might make 
the sale.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
Leman -4- 
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