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iQuestions Faculty, Bishop Wellington Boone 
 
 
Question: 
 
I need to lose weight, but my husband keeps bothering me about it. 
He says he's concerned about my health. How can I tell him to stop 
criticizing me, and let me do it my way? 
 
Answer:  
 
I know that you say you want to lose weight. That’s important, to lose 
weight if you are overweight. It’s not an issue of just looks. It is an 
issue also of health.  
 
Sometimes in a marriage, a husband has something to say about that, 
and sometimes, as a wife, there is offense there. What do you do? You 
want them to stop. You don’t want him to say anything about it. Is 
that what you really want? You say, “Yes”? Well, why do you not want 
him to say anything? 
 
Before I answer that, though, let’s go back to the losing weight issue. 
Do you really want to lose weight? Are you communicating to him that 
you really want to lose weight? Are you talking, and yet your walk 
doesn’t match your talk? You see, you may say, “I don’t want him 
saying anything about it,” but maybe you’re really not getting across 
to him that it’s important to you.  
 
Maybe you shouldn’t be dealing so much primarily with the fact that 
he’s giving you input, you should be dealing primarily with how he 
sees you. 
 
Because, let’s face it. In the relationship originally, I can remember my 
wife used to be the cheerleader for the basketball team that I played 
 
 
on, and she always liked hairy legs, so she said she’s going to marry a 
husband with hairy legs. Well, it was me. I was the one. And so, 
therefore, I couldn’t take the hairs away, but she said “big, hairy legs” 
also. Guess what? The legs are no longer large, and they’re no longer 
muscular, like she saw them.  
 
Now, the issue is, how she saw me. That was important. Do I want to 
reaffirm that as long as I can? Well, my answer is, yeah. I don’t want 
to, later on in the marriage, hurt her picture, unless it’s just natural 
aging—like if she said she wants all my hair to be on, and I have 
nothing to do with that, and I’m getting bald, that’s another issue. But 
if I can keep my shape the same, if I can keep my weight the same, 
that’s an issue of desire, that’s an issue of will. 
 
So, I want you to really examine whether or not you want to make him 
happy by being at the weight that makes him happy.  
 
I want to say something that’s very important, and it’s not about you, 
it’s about him. In the relationship, originally, that’s what it is all 
about—it’s about each other satisfying the other person’s desires. It’s 
not just, “I don’t care what you think.” No. You didn’t have that 
attitude originally. 
 
The other thing is, if two is better than one, and that’s what marriage 
is all about, if two of you shall agree—it’s amazing about the power of 
synergy. One can put a thousand aside, an old manuscript says—
really, the Bible says that—“…two will put 10,000 to flight.” 
(Deuteronomy 32:30)  
 
You know what? If you can get your husband to be in agreement with 
you, you’ll be 10,000 times more energized than by just shutting him 
up. You know why? Because you’ve proven that without his support, it 
hasn’t worked. He wants it to work. He told you a legitimate reason. 
Boone -2- 
 
 
You don’t think they’re legitimate? Your health—not just your looks, 
but your health—do you think that’s legitimate? I think you do. 
 
Get off the defensive. You don’t have to be on the defensive. Each of 
you is for one another. One of the strengths of marriage is that when 
the other can give input in areas where there could be possible 
offense. 
 
Do you know that he’s for you? And guess what? When you think 
about your life, you’re for him. Look at what you do for him. Clean his 
dirty clothes, cook for him, you know all those seasons. Out of season, 
in season, you help those kids. You do everything for him. You can win 
in this situation. You are not a loser. You are going to be in the 
greatest shape of any wife. You’ve got to think that way about 
yourself. 
 
Let me give you five little things of encouragement. I call it the 
alphabet for weight loss. Let me give the to you.  
 
A: Always see the end from the beginning. 
 
B: Belief is what you need to get you started. 
 
C: Courage is what you need in your hard times. 
 
D: Diligence will assure your success. 
 
E: Energy is what you’ll have to assure that you’re going to get at the 
weight that you love. 
 
That’s the beginning of my alphabet for weight loss. You’re a winner. 
Boone -3- 
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