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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. David Eckman 
 
 
Question: 
 
What is the addictive cycle? 
 
Answer: 
 
The addictive cycle is really important to understand. There are five 
parts to it, and let me just tell you the parts and then tell you what is 
important to understand about it. There are two dozen-plus addictions 
out there, and they’re all driven by the addictive cycle. 
 
Here are the five elements to the cycle.  
 
1. Typically, it starts out with unaddressed pain in the life— that is, the 
person is not addressing what’s going on in their emotions that’s 
negative.  
 
2. They’ll step out of relationships. 
 
3. They’ll step into a fantasy world which will justify whatever the 
addictive behavior is, of the two dozen or so that are out there.  
 
4. Then they’ll find a real simple initiatory act, like if it’s over-eating, 
going to the store and buying a gallon of ice cream. If it’s 
pornography, turning on the computer. 
 
5. And then the person will act out. 
 
Again, five steps to addiction: it starts out with unaddressed pain; 
then it steps over into aloneness or disassociation from relationships; 
then it steps over into a fantasy world, a false belief system that 
 
 
allows the person to embrace chaos; and then a simple initiatory act; 
and acting out. 
 
Why is this important for you to understand? It’s because you can rip 
apart addiction by addressing each of these elements.  
 
Here are three important things you can do: 
 
1. You can address the pain in your life— that is, emotional pain, 
relational pain, physical pain. 
 
2. You can get yourself into friendships. They can be male/female 
friendships, depending on the type of addiction that you are 
addressing, or it might be just male friendships, but you need to 
share your life with other people, particularly in the area of 
addiction, compulsion, and addiction.  
 
3. And finally, challenge false beliefs, the fantasy world, which is the 
key portion of the addictive cycle. If you’re a male, don’t reduce 
yourself to the cultural belief that all a guy is a sex drive. If you’re a 
female, don’t reduce yourself to the cultural belief that all you are is 
how you appear. 
 
If you deal with those three things, the last two are easy to deal with, 
and that is restructuring the life, dealing with the initiatory habit and 
the acting out. The first three are the big three.  
 
This is a challenge, but you can meet the challenge. Millions have. 
 
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