To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
 
iQuestions Faculty, Barbara Rosberg 
 
 
Question: 
 
Sometimes I feel like such a nag. I don’t want to, but I just don’t know 
any other way to get my spouse to do important things. 
 
Answer: 
 
BARBARA ROSBERG: Boy, does this question resonate with my heart. 
When a woman sees the marriage as viable, as something she’s 
fighting for, she talks, and talks and talks. Makes sense, doesn’t it?  
And yet, when a man hears her talking, talking, talking, many times a 
man will respond like; it’s a bad radio show. And, he’ll just go and turn 
down the volume. But, unfortunately, when a woman quits talking, she 
quits trying. And when a woman quits trying, she will withdraw from 
the marriage. Are you there?  Perhaps you’ve been talking about your 
marriage, and giving your husband all kinds of ideas as far as date 
nights; things to do as a couple; sharing your needs; sharing your 
emotions. And, perhaps when he looks into your face, all he sees are 
the emotions and he doesn’t even hear the words.  
 
Many times emotions can confuse a man. Many times even our most 
well-poised words; our choice logic; does not come through because 
we’re tearful, and it’s so close to the heart. Oftentimes when a 
husband sees that his wife has quit talking he doesn’t realize she’s quit 
trying. He thinks, “Good, she got over that!”  Unfortunately, this is the 
most dangerous place for us to be at, as wives. Because, at this point 
we can become a walk-away wife. What is a walk-away wife? Clearly, 
it’s a woman who has been an advocate for marriage. She’s told her 
husband what she needed. But when her heart gets hurt, and stays 
hurt, then she can lock it up. And when she locks it up, she locks him 
out.  
 
 
Perhaps today you’re in that lock-out mode. Perhaps today you’re not 
even realizing that you could be going towards a journey; left in this 
place—that is a trap. When you’re left in this place for six months or 
longer, many times research and statistics show us that women pack 
up their bags and move out and they’re gone. And there’s nothing 
stronger than the will of a wife.  
 
I want to encourage you today to ask yourself this question: Are you 
locked up? Are you the walk-away wife? If you are, I’m going to ask 
you to search your heart. Search where you’ve been hurt, and ask 
yourself: Have I really let him in? Am I building a guard up so high 
around my heart that there’s no way he could scale over it?  I’m 
asking you to remove the wall and let your husband back in. Why? It’s 
not only for the sake of your marriage, it’s for the sake of the next 
generation. Don’t live with regrets. Choose today to let your husband 
in.  
 
 
 
Page -2- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.