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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. David Eckman 
 
 
Question: 
 
Is codependency an addiction? 
 
Answer: 
 
Codependency is an interesting kind of addiction. The reason for that 
is the heart of addiction is what’s going on in the mind and the 
emotions— the compulsion that’s there— and in codependency, the 
individual is relating to another human being, but really what’s going 
on is they are relating to the chemicals that are being produced within 
themselves that the other person prompts. 
 
The illustration of codependency that you should have in your mind is 
this: there’s a cardboard cut-out in front of an individual, and there’s a 
button on that cut-out— it’s a cardboard cut-out of a person— and you 
reach out, you push a button on that cardboard cut-out, and a pill 
pops out of the person’s hand, and the individual standing in front of 
the cardboard cut-out takes the pill and it makes them feel good. 
 
The other person doesn’t matter. What really matters is what happens 
within the individual who is being codependent, the chemical reaction.  
 
There are a lot of psychological issues back there that are creating the 
reaction, but there’s a true chemical change. The way codependency 
ends is where the responsible relationship of adults takes over, where 
people discover what’s really going on inside of each other, and 
develop a compassion and an honest affection for one another. 
 
Codependency is a difficulty. You can see it when a seventh grade girl 
falls madly in love with some guy, and she doesn’t even know the 
 
 
guy’s name. That’s an illustration of the chemical high that comes with 
codependency.  
 
It’s dangerous stuff, because in a real sense in codependency, the 
other person doesn’t matter. They’re just there to stimulate a reaction 
within the part of the codependent individual. 
 
So, is codependency an addiction? Yes, it is. We call it a soft addiction, 
because it’s not based upon digested or injected chemicals, it’s based 
upon our chemical reaction to other people. 
 
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