To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
 
 
iQuestions Faculty, Michael and Amy Smalley 
 
 
Question: 
 
I have a difficult time asking women out on dates. I've done it before 
but have been turned down. Now I get nervous. What can I do? 
 
Answer: 
 
MICHAEL: It’s hard when you’re a guy and you want to ask a girl out. 
You might be madly in love with her, head over heels, it’s  like, “What 
do I do? How do I make that first step?” 
 
I fell deeply in love with this woman right here, and for two and a half 
years we didn’t date. I was so scared and intimidated to ask her out 
that I actually became a male cheerleader.  
 
That’s one way to approach it—you could become a male cheerleader 
to avoid asking the girl out—but another thing that you could do is 
really understand that women want confidence. They want a guy who 
believes in himself but also a guy who is excited about her. 
 
Amy, you probably had a lot of guys wanting to ask you out. What 
were some of your experiences? 
 
AMY: I would say, if you are a guy out there, honestly, if you can 
serve a woman, if you can really share your heart, if you can go out of 
your way to open the door for her, or if she drops something, pick it 
up and say, “Here, I got this for you,” and really speak honestly from 
your heart—that was the thing that really drew me to Michael, his 
servant attitude. 
 
 
 
 
MICHAEL: So there are two things I really want you to remember. If 
you are nervous about asking out a girl, first realize that you are worth 
dating. You have to have confidence in yourself to know, “Hey, this girl 
is going to want to go out with me, because a woman wants someone 
who is confident.”  
 
The second thing is you have to remember it is not about you. If you 
take the attitude of being a servant to a woman, that is something 
that is going to be ultimately the most attractive.  
 
AMY: Just remember, if she turns you down, that is her loss, not 
yours. 
 
M & A Smalley -2- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.