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iQuestions Faculty, Michael and Amy Smalley 
 
 
Question: 
 
I have problems meeting people to date. I’ve been thinking about 
trying Internet dating. Is this okay? 
 
Answer: 
 
MICHAEL: We love online dating and matchmaking sites, and the 
reason is because it is a new world. I know that you might be very 
apprehensive about that new world, saying, “…Is this safe?” 
 
It can feel very overwhelming, but we want to encourage you that it’s 
fine to meet someone that way.  
 
The reality, though, is that you have to meet someone and then get 
into the real world as fast as possible, because the point of online 
matchmaking is not to carry a relationship online. It’s to meet 
someone, fall in love, and get married eventually. That means you 
need that face-to-face contact. 
 
The other thing, Amy, is that you also need to learn how to love well. 
 
AMY: How to love well. We want to say, “You know what? 
Compatibility is great, but you are still going to have to learn the skills. 
You are still going to need to learn how to resolve conflict.” 
 
I know for Michael and me, this was a really big hurdle for us to 
overcome when we first got married. We had to learn conflict 
resolution; how to take personal responsibility; how to take a look 
inward and say, “What about this argument is my part of it? What part 
do I have?” 
 
 
 
All of those are part of truly learning how to mature in your love. And 
that’s what really makes your marriage and makes your life really 
fulfilled. 
 
MICHAEL: Absolutely. Utilize this as a good tool to meet someone and 
then connect in the real world. You also want to remember to keep 
yourself safe. You do not want to put out all of this information where 
someone could just look at your profile, come to your home and find 
you. The reality is, there are creepy people online doing these things, 
and you do not want to mess with that. 
 
Visit sites that teach you how to keep your profile safe so that you 
don’t get in trouble.  
 
When you meet someone and you are compatible with them, and then 
you learn how to love that person well, you are going to have a 
fantastic relationship. 
 
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