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iQuestions Faculty, Michael and Amy Smalley 
 
 
Question: 
 
I'm really depressed about my girlfriend and I breaking up. I want to 
get back together with her, but I know she's not interested. I've even 
thought about ending my life. What can I do? 
 
Answer: 
 
MICHAEL: We want to encourage you because obviously you are in a 
very significant relationship, and you didn’t want it to end, and now 
you are feeling hopeless and discouraged to the point where you might 
even be thinking about suicide. 
 
Do not make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have 
got to start figuring out where this hopelessness is coming from.  
 
AMY: Core fears. You may be feeling like, “I am such a failure. Why 
could I not make this relationship work?” That is very common to a lot 
of men. When relationships fall apart, that is at the core of what they 
are feeling. 
 
MICHAEL: We kind of own it and we think, “I must have done 
something wrong.” Or to get to the level that you are at, you might be 
thinking, “I am inferior. I am not even worth loving.” You might be 
having this overwhelming sense of rejection. We want you to know 
there is help. When you get to that level, oftentimes the biggest 
mistake someone makes is they don’t reach out for help.  
 
You need help, because there are some things that get so confusing 
and so overwhelming that we can’t do it on our own. I don’t want you 
to feel weak or less of a man because you reached out to a counselor, 
 
 
maybe a pastor, or a friend. Somebody can plug into your life and give 
you the encouragement and the knowledge that you need to pull 
yourself out of this. 
 
AMY: So many times our world becomes very chaotic and it feels like 
the world is spinning out of control. You may be feeling that way. That 
is where a counselor can step in and give you that third eye and take a 
look at your perspective, and give you perspective to say, “You know 
what? This is what I see going on.” And that could be the calm to the 
storm. 
 
MICHAEL: Absolutely. So what we want you to know is, don’t waste 
another second keeping this thing inside and feeling alone. Reach out, 
because I promise there will be someone there waiting to help. 
 
 
M & A Smalley -2- 
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