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iQuestions Faculty, Michael and AMY Smalley 
 
 
Question: There are times when I don't feel a great deal of love and 
affection for my mate. Instead I feel like we are just roommates? How 
can I rekindle the romance and passion? 
 
 
Answer: 
 
AMY SMALLEY: So I understand that you don’t feel a great deal of 
passion for your mate, and you feel like you’re more like roommates 
than marriage partners. You’re wondering, “Where did the passion 
go?” We’d like to answer that question by saying, “You know what, 
passion can ebb and flow, but commitment is going to be the thing 
that is going to sustain you.”  
 
It’s a great thing to be able to have that passion and that romance . . . 
 
MICHAEL: And fall in love, because of that high emotion. But what I 
love of what you’re talking about is it’s the commitment that’s going to 
keep that going. When it’s down, the commitment brings it right up. 
 
AMY: And passion, you can reignite passion by just acknowledging who 
your spouse is. There are times when Michael can absolutely drive me 
crazy . . . 
 
MICHAEL: Just a few times. 
 
AMY: But when I really take a look at his positive qualities, over time, 
sometimes it will be weeks, and sometimes it will be days, I look back 
and say, “Oh my! I love this man. I love him because of who he is.” 
And our relationship is so much better and so much stronger because 
I’ve not allowed my emotions to overtake my commitment. 
 
 
 
MICHAEL: Absolutely. I think one of the things I get really frustrated 
with is that couples allow their emotions to dictate their commitment. 
When you start figuring out, hopefully, by watching this video, that it’s 
your commitment that should dictate your emotions. 
 
 
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