To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
 
 
iQuestions Faculty, Michael and Amy Smalley 
 
 
Question: 
 
I have a habit of going out and drinking too much. When I do this, I 
take random guys home and have sex with them. How do I stop this 
behavior? 
 
Answer: 
 
AMY: My friend, I am hurting for you, because you’re not going out 
and getting drunk and it “just happens” that you sleep with these 
guys. You are trying to numb your pain with the alcohol and then 
trying to numb it even further and trying to get love by having sex. 
 
MICHAEL: What is really sad is that you are trying to medicate a pain, 
like you mentioned, Amy. There is something inside of you that is 
hurting, that is broken, and you’re trying to fix it through alcohol and 
sex. And what you are realizing, just by asking this question, is that 
alcohol and sex ain’t fixing it. 
 
AMY: That is so true. You need to be able to look deeper and say, “Do 
I want to live on medicating my pain? Or do I want to look at what is 
underneath that, and start addressing what is really going on?” Look 
at how you might be feeling. Your self-esteem might be really low. 
 
MICHAEL: Or your self-worth. 
 
AMY: Exactly. I think about someone who is having random sex—their 
self-worth must truly feel very, very low. 
 
MICHAEL: The reality is, you are too valuable to do this to yourself. 
You need to start understanding what is driving this behavior, and you 
 
 
will probably need a counselor, a pastor, or friend to help you 
understand that. And here is the cool thing, once you understand what 
is driving the behavior, the behavior stops. 
 
AMY: That’s right. And that is truly what you want, because I know 
that this cannot be a pattern that you want to continue. I would just 
suggest that you seek out some counseling and try to see what is 
driving this behavior, so that you can stop. 
 
M & A Smalley -2- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.