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iQuestions Faculty, Michael and Amy Smalley 
 
 
Question: 
 
How can I teach my daughter the power of purity and modesty when 
sex is treated so casually? 
 
Answer: 
 
MICHAEL: I absolutely love that you are asking this question because 
our culture has really messed up God’s view of sex, and your daughter 
can sometimes be the most affected in your family. 
 
AMY: It is important that we teach our daughter Reagan what modesty 
and purity is, according to scripture, and according to what is counter 
to what culture tells her. 
 
MICHAEL: Absolutely. And I’m telling you right now, if you are a mom 
watching this, and your husband is somewhere nearby, go get him 
right now. We’re waiting.  
 
Okay, I hope he is there, because I want you to know that if you want 
your daughter to have a healthy view of sexuality and a healthy sex 
life—i.e., waiting until marriage, like the Bible tells us too—then the 
most critical relationship that she can have, other than the one with 
God, is with her father. 
 
Daddy needs to give her all the hugs and kisses she needs, so she 
doesn’t leave the home one day feeling neglected, feeling unloved, 
feeling ignored, and say, “I gotta find that in somebody else,” because 
there are predator guys out there, and they can smell them like a 
hammerhead shark. You know, they can smell a little drop of blood—I 
don’t know if you know that . . . 
 
 
 
AMY: A mile away, right? 
 
MICHAEL: Oh, lots of miles away. And those guys are the same way, 
and they will come after your daughter. 
 
And dads, now that you are here, I am challenging you that you need 
to love your daughter unconditionally, without any strings, so that she 
knows that there is a guy on this earth who loves her incredibly well, 
and she won’t need to seek that with a guy who has bad intentions. 
 
AMY: And moms, we need to accept our daughters for who they are. 
Whatever size, shape, color, form—whatever they are—we need to be 
able to accept them and love them unconditionally. I think when they 
have that fill of unconditional love, then they won’t need that approval 
that comes from the outside world. 
 
MICHAEL: I laugh today because there are a lot of moms that don’t 
even model how to dress appropriately. That is one of the things, as a 
mom or dad, we need to model what we want our children to be, 
especially when it comes to sex.  
 
Here is one of the final ways I want to encourage you, start hiding 
God’s word in your daughter’s heart, because I can promise you, when 
she starts memorizing and learning the scriptures that teach her how 
valuable she is—and God’s plan for sex and why He wants you to wait 
until marriage—when she most needs it, that is when it is going to 
come up and give her strength. 
 
M & A Smalley -2- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.