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iQuestions Faculty, Michael and Amy Smalley
Question:
How can I teach my daughter the power of purity and modesty when
sex is treated so casually?
Answer:
MICHAEL: I absolutely love that you are asking this question because
our culture has really messed up God’s view of sex, and your daughter
can sometimes be the most affected in your family.
AMY: It is important that we teach our daughter Reagan what modesty
and purity is, according to scripture, and according to what is counter
to what culture tells her.
MICHAEL: Absolutely. And I’m telling you right now, if you are a mom
watching this, and your husband is somewhere nearby, go get him
right now. We’re waiting.
Okay, I hope he is there, because I want you to know that if you want
your daughter to have a healthy view of sexuality and a healthy sex
life—i.e., waiting until marriage, like the Bible tells us too—then the
most critical relationship that she can have, other than the one with
God, is with her father.
Daddy needs to give her all the hugs and kisses she needs, so she
doesn’t leave the home one day feeling neglected, feeling unloved,
feeling ignored, and say, “I gotta find that in somebody else,” because
there are predator guys out there, and they can smell them like a
hammerhead shark. You know, they can smell a little drop of blood—I
don’t know if you know that . . .
AMY: A mile away, right?
MICHAEL: Oh, lots of miles away. And those guys are the same way,
and they will come after your daughter.
And dads, now that you are here, I am challenging you that you need
to love your daughter unconditionally, without any strings, so that she
knows that there is a guy on this earth who loves her incredibly well,
and she won’t need to seek that with a guy who has bad intentions.
AMY: And moms, we need to accept our daughters for who they are.
Whatever size, shape, color, form—whatever they are—we need to be
able to accept them and love them unconditionally. I think when they
have that fill of unconditional love, then they won’t need that approval
that comes from the outside world.
MICHAEL: I laugh today because there are a lot of moms that don’t
even model how to dress appropriately. That is one of the things, as a
mom or dad, we need to model what we want our children to be,
especially when it comes to sex.
Here is one of the final ways I want to encourage you, start hiding
God’s word in your daughter’s heart, because I can promise you, when
she starts memorizing and learning the scriptures that teach her how
valuable she is—and God’s plan for sex and why He wants you to wait
until marriage—when she most needs it, that is when it is going to
come up and give her strength.
M & A Smalley -2-
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