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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
My husband had an affair. He broke the relationship off but I am 
having a hard time forgetting. What should I do?  
 
Answer: 
 
I don’t know of anything more painful than betrayal. That sense of 
deep rejection penetrates the heart. When we think about “forgetting,” 
you need to know that is not scriptural. There is no scripture that says, 
“Forgive and forget”. In fact, if you think about it, when somebody 
steps on your toe, and says, “Oh, please forgive me,” you can forget 
that. But, if someone were to murder the person dearest to your 
heart, you could never forget. 
 
We don’t have “holy amnesia.” In fact, it’s God who chooses to forgive 
and forget—meaning, He does not hold our sin against us. He does 
this by His choice. But, what do you do when you have these 
memories that keep coming back, again and again? 
 
One day, I was helping a couple in the midst of this very issue, and 
the wife called me on the phone. She said, “I don’t know what to do. 
It’s been two years, and he’s actually been exemplary, but I can’t get 
over this.” I said, “Let me get back in touch with you”.  I went to my 
mother and I asked her, “What should I tell her?” You see, I grew up 
in a home where there was continual adultery. Specifically, my father 
had many, many women on the side, and I watched my mother handle 
this situation in a phenomenal way. That’s why I went to her, because 
she was not holding on to bitterness.   
 
 
 
She told me, “June, tell her that she must not dwell on it,” and she 
said, “She must not speak of it again and again”. When Mother said 
that, immediately I thought of a passage of scripture; it’s in what is 
called the love chapter; “Love keeps no record of wrongs”. How do you 
not keep a record? I mean, how do you deal with it, when it is in your 
mind? First of all, don’t speak of it. That’s one of the things that my 
mother said. Don’t bring it up again and again. This is scriptural; 
based on the word of God. In fact, there’s a prayer in Psalm 141:3: 
“Mount a guard over my mouth, O Lord. Keep watch over the door of 
my lips”. You pray, “God, don’t let me say things that I can’t take 
back. Don’t let me say things that will do further damage”. 
 
Let me make one other strong suggestion. When you think about this 
person who has wounded you so deeply, what you would want to do is 
realize, a person who betrays another, who wounds another, there’s 
something wrong on the inside; that person needs prayer. That person 
is not whole. So, what does that person need? That person actually 
needs your prayers. 
 
It’s interesting that it was Jesus Who said, in Matthew 5:34, “Pray for 
those who persecute you”. In truth, I don’t think that scripture is so 
much for the other person’s benefit, I think it’s for my benefit and your 
benefit. You see, you can’t continue to pray for someone without 
feeling a loving concern for that one. In other words, it will protect you 
from bitterness. 
 
And, truthfully, if you will continue every time you think of that deep 
woundedness, pray for the one who hurt you. Pray for God’s best. 
Ultimately, you can’t go wrong. When you are in the will of God, doing 
what is in the word of God, then you will have the peace of God—and 
that’s what you really want.  
 
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