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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
My marriage partner is having an affair. Should I stay or get a divorce?  
 
Answer: 
 
For any person who has a marriage partner who is having an affair, or 
who has had an affair, the inevitable question is, “What about the 
future?” Some say, “Oh I could never get a divorce, no matter what”. 
Others say you should always get a divorce, because the Bible even 
addresses that. This is from Matthew 19:9: “I tell you that anyone who 
divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another 
commits adultery”. 
 
The issue here is that exception clause. Does this mean that every 
single person who experiences adultery, that marriage should end in 
divorce? I will tell you from a personal standpoint, because my mother 
continued to experience her husband, my father, having multiple 
women. I’ll just tell you, I went to Mother, and I said, “Mother, if you 
want to divorce him, I’ll stand by you”.  
 
Now, I wasn’t even a Christian at the time, but I just hated the hurt. I 
hated the pain that she was in. In truth, the answer to this question is, 
it’s up to the individual as to how God’s Spirit speaks to you. What is 
God’s message to you? Obviously, in the Bible, a divorce is permitted, 
because of marital unfaithfulness. But is it always God’s perfect will? In 
our family’s situation, my mother did not feel led to leave my father. It 
may be that she didn’t feel that she had any real choices, but she did 
have a choice. 
 
 
 
I will tell you what happened, in the end. Six months before my father 
died, for the first time he was willing to pray a prayer, committing his 
life to the Lord Jesus Christ. Years before, I thought, “There’s no way 
he would ever do that”. I never thought he would change, but he did 
change. 
 
In truth, you need to be led by the Lord. You need to pray, “God, what 
do you want me to do? What is your perfect will for me? I’ll do 
whatever you tell me to do.” By the way, in John 16:13, Jesus said, 
“The Spirit of truth will guide you into all truth, and will tell you what is 
yet to come”. So, you trust Him. Tell Him that you know you need to 
rely on Him. Let Him be the decision maker for you in this most crucial 
decision.  
 
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