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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Tim & Darcy Kimmel 
 
 
Question: 
 
My grandchildren live far away from me. How can I stay an active part 
of their lives? 
 
Answer: 
 
DARCY KIMMEL: If you’re a grandparent and your grandchildren live 
maybe in another state, sometimes in another country, you feel a little 
bit disconnected. But you know, there’s no reason why you can’t be 
present-tense in your grandchildren’s lives. 
 
TIM KIMMEL: And on top of that, you want to be. You need to be. They 
need you as part of their life. 
 
It’s real easy when they’re on another time zone that we just see them 
for the major holidays, and we just drop off a card for them with a 
check on their birthdays. But no, no, no. We need to have an ongoing 
relationship with their heart, and we need to give you a few pointers 
on how you can do that from a distance. 
 
DARCY: From a distance. Our granddaughters just live a mile and a 
half from us, but they love getting mail. Whether we’re out of town 
and we send a postcard to them, or I just write a little note and put it 
in our mailbox to go a mile and a half away, they love to get a letter, 
so don’t give up letter-writing. 
 
And then, you’ve got to get computer savvy.  
 
TIM: If you aren’t already. 
 
 
DARCY. If you aren’t already, because email is a wonderful thing, and 
kids are on their email accounts all the time. You might even want to 
set up a special time during the week where you can instant message 
each other, and it’s just like having a conversation, and they love to 
tap away. 
 
TIM: And you can text them at great times to let them know that 
you’re thinking about them, that you love them, that you’re proud of 
them. Or maybe they’re under some great stress, you know, they just 
had a major test a the university, or they’re not doing as well as they 
thought, or they broke up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, or they 
just got fired. This is when they need to hear from a grandmother or a 
grandfather, to let them know, “Hey, I believe in you. Life’s going on. 
Life’s big. You’re going to play a major part in it, and I love you like 
mad.” Because these are the kinds of things that keep them connected 
at the heart. 
 
DARCY: That’s right. 
 
Your cellphone? You probably have unlimited long distance minutes. If 
you don’t, you should get them. Call them on the phone. They love to 
talk on the phone, even if they are little. They can pick up the phone 
and talk to Nanna or Poppa.  
 
You can send digital photos across the email. You could even set up a 
family webpage, or maybe they already have a webpage, and post 
photos on there. There’s just innumerous things that you can do 
online. 
 
TIM: But nothing beats face-to-face. And this is where you’ve got to 
plan your life around making sure you have good contact with those 
grandkids, that you see them at major events, you know, the high 
points of their life, and then you plan your year, your calendar around 
 
seeing them at vacation time or them coming out and spending a week 
with you, you going out to visit them. 
 
What Darcy and I started doing twenty years ago was we put a lot of 
money in the bank, a lot of our savings in, and said this is just so we 
can stay connected to our grandkids. We want to be able to travel 
wherever they are and see them. 
 
Now, you don’t want to be overbearing. It’s not your job to parent 
them. But it is your job to grandparent them. And it’s a grand calling. 
You’re going to enjoy it.  
 
But just because they’re out of sight doesn’t mean they have to be out 
of mind or out of heart. You can make a difference, no matter how far 
away they are. 
 
 
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