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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
Should I submit to my husband even if it means enduring his abusive 
anger or physical violence? 
 
Answer: 
 
What do I do when I have a violent husband—an abusive husband? Is 
this acceptable? Is this my bed that I just have to lie in? I have no 
choice? That’s the question. 
 
I want to share something with you. As I was teaching in Romania and 
then Kiev, and in Brazil, in other countries throughout the world; not 
just the United States; there’s a very interesting mindset. That is that 
a woman has no rights. And, I’m talking about a number of people 
that I’ve talked with in these countries; she can’t leave, she can’t do 
anything else. 
 
Well, let me tell you. I am amazed at what the scripture says. You see, 
the common scripture that many people, in fact I think all men know 
is, “Wives, submit to your husbands”. The scripture just before that is;  
“Submit one to another, out of reverence for Christ”. There is to be 
mutual submission. That’s part of the context. 
 
Now, what do you do when somebody’s violent, especially in a 
marriage? Let me read something to you. Proverbs 22:24: “Do not 
make friends with a hot-tempered man. Do not associate with one 
easily angered.” You can absolutely, and should, move out of harms 
way. Why? Because, listen to Proverbs 19:19. This passage is 
important, because this says you can have a boundary, and the reason 
for the boundary is “a hot-tempered man must pay the penalty. If you 
 
 
rescue him, you will have to do it again.” In other words, if you rescue 
him from having the consequences of his responsibility for his abusive 
behavior, it’s just going to happen over, and over, and over again. 
 
The best thing you can do is to have consequences for wrong actions, 
for those who are being irresponsible. It’s like pain and pleasure. If 
there’s pleasure at getting one’s way by beating a wife into 
submission, then that person is not going to change. But, if there is 
more pain than pleasure, than that’s when a person is more likely to 
change. That is the catalyst for change.  A woman has a right to 
separate herself from violence, because the Bible says so. God did not 
call you to live in fear.  
 
Recognize there are people who will help you. You can make a life 
apart from a violent person. Why do I say that? Because He is the One 
Who will give you the strength to do whatever you need to do. You 
say, “I can do all things through Christ, Who will give me strength”. 
(Phillipians 4:13) He will be your strength. He’s a God of love. He’s a 
God of plans.  The Bible says, “I know the plans I have for you, plans 
to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 
(Jeremiah 29:11)  
 
He is your hope. 
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