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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
Is it always wrong to be angry or is there a time when anger crosses 
the line and becomes abusive? 
 
Answer: 
 
This is a very common question, “Is it wrong to be angry? Is it a sin to 
be angry?” Well, in truth, it’s God who gave us the capacity to be 
angry. And, it’s even clear in scripture. In Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry, 
but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you’re still angry”, 
meaning there can be a justifiable time to feel anger. I would say it 
this way: think of the red light on the dashboard of the car. When that 
red light is blinking, or turned on, and there’s a constant red, that’s 
like anger saying, “Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. 
Something’s wrong.”  
 
Now, what’s the purpose of that red light? It’s not just to be pretty, to 
just ride and drive and go forward in your car, because you could be 
causing greater damage to your car. The purpose of the red light is to 
propel you to action, to find out what is wrong, and to deal with what 
is wrong. In truth, what you want to say is, “OK, what is the cause of 
this anger?” You don’t want that anger to just continue to consume 
you. Because again, “Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go 
down while you are still angry”.  There’s a time period where that 
anger needs to be dealt with in a healthy way. 
 
Think about Jesus. There’s a story about Him getting angry, very 
angry, at the money changers in the Temple. Why was He angry? 
Because of injustice. There were people coming to Jerusalem. They 
were coming to the Temple, and they needed to exchange their 
 
 
money, their currency from another country, to purchase sacrifices 
that would be in accordance to the Jewish law—the sacrifices for their 
sin. Well, these moneychangers were extortionists.  So, what did Jesus 
feel? He felt “righteous indignation”, another word for anger—
righteous anger. What did He do? He overturned the tables of the 
moneychangers. In other words, His anger propelled Him to action.  
 
So, does that mean we should go around being angry at any injustice 
and staying angry? No, you want to evaluate, “Is anger abusive?” In 
other words, if somebody is angry at you, and you are the recipient of 
the anger, how is it making you feel? Is it causing you to have low 
self-worth? Is it causing you to feel shame, not guilt, but shame? Guilt 
is, “I did something wrong”. Shame is, “I am wrong. I am bad.” Is the 
anger that you are receiving causing a fear, a fear of this person? 
 
In truth, I remember a friend who was always angry at me, and finally 
I began to tell her, “I am afraid of you, and my responses are based 
on fear”. And she said, “Well, I don’t want you afraid of me”. And I 
said, “But, it’s like, whatever I do, you’re not pleased with it, and you 
lash out”. She said, “Well, I don’t know why I do that”. The truth is—it 
was harming our relationship.  
 
If you evaluate, “Is the anger that I am receiving from someone else, 
is it to cause a good response; where there is a remedy that is taking 
place? Or, is it causing low self-worth, shame, or fear-based living?”  
If it’s abusive, then you are not to live with that mindset, that attitude 
toward you. Just know that’s not God’s heart; for you to be consumed 
by somebody else’s anger. 
 
Indeed, there are times when we have to look at a person who has 
abusive anger, and begin to isolate ourselves, literally insolate 
ourselves. In this way you can say to yourself, “He has a problem. I’m 
not going to let his problem be my problem”. Don’t absorb the other 
person’s anger, that’s inappropriate.  Say again, over and over, “He 
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has a problem. I’m not going to let his problem be my problem.” “She 
has a problem. I’m not going to let her problem be my problem.” Then 
make decisions that are right—not caving in to someone else’s anger, 
not being controlled by anger tactics.  
 
You decide, “What would God have me do? Instead of being controlled 
by inappropriate anger, God, I want to be controlled by You.” Then you 
have hope for your heart.  
 
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