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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Tim Kimmel
Question:
What are three questions I need to prepare my kids to answer before I
send them out into the world so they achieve success?
Answer:
The job of a parent is to equip their kids to take on adulthood with
confidence, with poise, with balance.
But it’s really easy to get off course in the successful world that we live
in, the abundant economies we live, to get our kids going in the wrong
direction.
As I step back and look at the job of parenting, I studied my kids, and
I realized that they have some big questions they have to answer in
life, and my job is to raise them in such a way that they can answer
these questions well. And I found out that there is, you know, kind of a
better way to aim them that sets up to answer these questions
perfectly.
Let me give you the three questions.
The first question is, “What is their mission in life going to be?” What
are they going to do with what they were given to work with—the
skillset they were given to work with. It’s really easy to squander all
your potential if you are aiming the wrong direction, and you have the
wrong values in your life.
Secondly, “Who is their mate going to be?” Most of our children will be
married. The fact is that marriage is really taking it on the chin. You
know, so many of our kids end up in divorce because they didn’t
choose well, or they didn’t go into it with the right attitude in their own
heart. There’s an old saying that says, “You’re either doubled or halved
on your wedding day.” There’s a way to raise your kids so they will
choose wisely, and then they will be quadrupled on their wedding day.
So, “What’s your mission in life going to be?” “Who’s your mate going
to be?”
Here’s a third big question every one of our kids is going to have to
answer: “Who is your master going to be?” You could say, “Oh, I don’t
like that. I don’t want my kids to be mastered by anything.” I’m sorry,
that is not an option. They are going to be mastered. You have got to
decide, by whom.
You see, if we have any free choices in life, we really only have one:
“Who is going to be the master of my life?” and after that, things fall
into place.
I love the way Bob Dillon summarized it in his album Slow Train
Coming. He said this, “You may be an ambassador to England or
France. You may like to gamble. You might like to dance. You may be
the heavyweight champion of the world. You may be a socialite with a
long string of pearls. But you’re going to have to serve somebody.”
Yeah, you’re going to have to serve somebody. It may be the devil. Or
it may be the Lord. But you are going to have to serve somebody.
Since it’s a foregone conclusion, the best thing is to raise your kids
with some dynamics in their heart so that when it comes time to make
those decisions, they will make them well. And that’s why I like to aim
kids at true greatness—kids who have this overwhelming love inside of
them that spills over into a love and concern for other people, they
have a heart of humility, and gratefulness, and generosity, and a
servant spirit.
And when you raise kids for true greatness rather than success, what’s
interesting is, well, when it comes to what their mission in life is going
to be, that just falls right into place because the marketplace is hungry
for kids who have their act together, who aren’t about themselves,
who live for others. They want to entrust those kids with the keys to
the best offices and the biggest titles, because they desperately need
people they can hand over great assets to, and know that they handle
them well.
Our children are a gift to a time we will not see. Make sure you send
ahead of you into history great, great assets—kids filled with hearts
that want to be truly great.
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
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