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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Tim Kimmel
Question:
What are four qualities I need to build into my kids' life in order to
make them as great as possible?
Answer:
You know, when you put a number on anything, you kind of wonder
what you leave out, but four is a nice number for me. I like four
because I can quantify four, I can keep those in my mind, and when I
think of the four things that I wanted to do with my kids, it has a lot to
do with the way I was raised and from my study of life and history.
When I see the people who really stood out in life, they are the ones
that had these things—I see four qualities you want to build into your
kids’ life.
And by the way, before I tell you what they are, I want to tell you
something. These have to do with how your kids view themselves, and
how they view others, and how they view why they are here on earth.
Here are the four qualities.
You want them to have a heart of humility, a humble heart, where
they aren’t always about themselves and selfishness and “what about
me?” No, it’s never about me. Humility.
Secondly, gratefulness—that they appreciate what people do for them.
They appreciate what they have. They appreciate what they have to
work with. See, automatically, that’s going to make them a better kid
to raise, because they are going to be grateful for you. They are going
to be grateful for their siblings. It cuts down sibling rivalry.
Thirdly, a generous heart, a generous attitude—that they see their life
to be lived to bring the best out of everybody around them. That
makes them better on a sports team. It makes them better as a
student.
In fact, I played football in high school, and I knew this one guy, his
name was Mike, and I’m telling you: I knew that Mike was going to be
a success in life, because he was always out there hitting hard, he
always had a great attitude, and you see him hitting hard in that first
period and he was hitting hard during the two-minute warning. He
worked so hard, but he was always about the other team members. He
cared about everybody around him.
And you know what else? He cared for our opposition. You know, when
they snapped the ball, he’d light you up, but after he knocked you
down, he’d pick you up. You see, that’s a generous heart.
And then the fourth quality is a servant’s heart. When you get kids
who just say, “I just want to live to bring the best out of everybody
around me,” it is amazing how much better everything else in their life
goes. They can process their infirmities, their set-backs, their
rejections. They can take on the test of time that comes with school.
The thing of moving different cultures—all that stuff, they do so much
better, because they say, “Well, it’s not about me. I’m grateful for
what I have. I want to be generous with it. I want to use it to help
other people.”
You want to change the world with those kids that are living in your
house? You build great kids, not successful kids. You build kids that
are just absolutely formatted with a heart of humility, gratefulness,
generosity, and servant spirit. You will leave a legacy behind you that
will never, ever die.
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