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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. Tim Kimmel 
 
 
Question: 
 
There's a lot of pressure in our neighborhood to maintain a wealthy 
status. We can afford to do so, however, something inside of me 
doesn't feel right. Is it okay to maintain this lifestyle? 
 
Answer: 
 
When you’re raising kids in a very successful environment, in good 
communities, where people are surrounded by every creature comfort 
and amenity they want, and because of the income that they make, 
they can really enjoy the finer things of life, and you wonder if there’s 
something missing, well, then you should wonder.  
 
Because, you see, there’s nothing wrong with this, per se. Nothing 
wrong with having nice things and living in a nice home, until you need 
that to feel complete, until you want that more than anything else.  
 
So, kids get drawn into what I call the “success lie,” you know, the 
“success illusion.” And I’m telling you, it’s toxic. It causes them to 
swallow the cultural poison pill called comparison. And listen, you will 
always lose in the comparison game, and when your kids make it part 
of their DNA, that they are always comparing, they are always coming 
up short, they want the next best thing—listen, it should bother us 
when we see our kids getting drawn into this, but there is an antidote 
for it, and that is, you want to live your lives focused outwards, toward 
serving others. Get your kids serving others. Get your kids focused off 
of themselves and what they have and they want.  
 
When we get our kids focused outwards, it’s amazing how so much of 
the success lie is exposed for what it is. It’s just a lie. There’s nothing 
 
 
innately wrong with success, as I said, but if that’s what you need, it 
will never fulfill you. If that’s all you want is success and all the stuff 
that comes with it, you will never be complete.  
 
Unfortunately, too, if that’s what you live for, your life will be 
meaningless. We don’t need that. No, no, no. We have something far 
better: building a greatness in your kids’ heart that comes from living 
bigger than life and living for others. 
 
My wife and I have raised our kids in a very abundant world. But I 
have observed something—and I just want to close off with these 
words—I look at the typical kid today, and basically a typical 
middleclass kid is a kid that basically has been born on third base, but 
he’s under the delusion that he hit a triple. He hasn’t hit anything. And 
many times, we grease these kids to make it easy for them to slide 
home. 
 
You know, we’re much better off putting our kids in an environment 
where, when they are looking outwards, they are serving others, they 
are living for other people—man, life falls into perspective. The success 
illusion is kept at bay. Meaningful, purposeful life is put at the 
forefront, and a lot of these other things you are worried about, they 
just take care of themselves. 
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