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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. John Trent 
 
 
Question: 
 
Our child is very organized and a perfectionist. How do we get him kid 
to lighten up? 
 
Answer:  
 
Some of us have that Beaver child. They are organized, they are 
detailed, they are precise, they line up their shoes, even when they 
are little. They want the hangers to go the same way. They actually 
have a sock drawer that they will put their socks in. I mean, for the 
Otter kids, they are the ones who have sock rooms, you know? But the 
Beavers are organized and precise.  
 
So, what do you do if you have that Beaver child? Here’s a couple of 
things to keep in mind. Number one is, what is the number one thing 
that typically they get praised for? Well, it’s “doing something well.”  
 
Boy, they want to draw everything within the lines. They want to make 
sure they do everything just right.  
 
But the problem is, sometimes that is the only thing they get praised 
for. So, if you have a Beaver kid, make sure that you are praising 
them for just their character and who they are, and for being sensitive 
to others when you see that, not just for their performance. 
 
Another thing with a Beaver child that’s really important to realize is 
that sometimes they take more time, when it comes to preparation.  
 
Let me give you an example of what I mean. I worked with a Lion 
mom one time that was really busy. She had a Beaver child, and she 
 
 
decided, “Man, we’ve got to get to practice, and we’ve got tons of stuff 
to do, so when you get home,” the Lion mom said, “here’s how I’m 
going to motivate you.” And she would take an egg timer and turn it 
and say, “OK, you’ve got 15 minutes to get that done, get your 
homework done, so we can go to practice.” 
 
Let me ask you a question. When have a Beaver child that wants to do 
everything really well, when you put them under massive time 
pressure, do they speed up or do they slow down? Very often, they will 
freeze inside, not just slow down. 
 
Well, then she would roar into the room, and here’s this kid that had 
barely started her homework, and she would roar at her, and it was 
just a nightmare. I mean, it was Wild Kingdom in that home. 
 
When I finally talked to her and said, “You know what? The way this 
child is fearfully and wonderfully made is they are the kind of kid that 
can use some more time and use encouragement, and not just put 
that huge time pressure on them.” She backed off the egg timer, and 
things began to change in their relationship. 
 
So, again, praise that Beaver for who they are, not just what they do, 
but also build in some time so that they can do things in a really 
quality way. 
 
 
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