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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. John Trent 
 
 
Question: 
 
I always hear the word "commitment" being very important to 
relationships. Does that word mean more than just sticking around? 
 
Answer: 
 
You know, the word “commitment” is a lot more than just sticking 
around.  
 
For example—let me give you a great example of that—a few years 
ago, I lost my mom, and have you ever had to go and pack up after 
somebody has passed away, a loved one? In this case, it was my 
mom, and she lived in a little apartment here in Phoenix, Arizona, and 
I did OK picking up everything. I didn’t want to throw anything away. 
She had this little stool that we used when we were kids to get up on 
the sink and wash our hands. Why, I kept that.   
 
My mom was a rheumatoid arthritic, and she had kind of a long stick 
to move the TV when the remote wouldn’t work. You know, she would 
use this long stick. Well, I kept her long stick.  
 
But what really took me out was when I packed up her bookshelf—
because let me tell you what commitment is. Let me give you a picture 
of commitment. When I undid my mom’s bookshelf, up on one whole 
shelf was a bunch of medical and genetics books. Then there was a 
whole other shelf full of counseling and theology books. And then 
guess what the top shelf was? It was an entire issue, after issue, after 
issue collection of “Heavy Equipment Digest.” 
 
 
 
Now, my mom was a seventy-six-year-old arthritic woman when she 
passed away. And so you’re thinking, “Just an eclectic reader, or 
what?” Well, no. She had three boys who were very different. My twin 
brother, Jeff, is a scientist. My mom actually took--talk about 
commitment--my mom actually took a beginning genetics course at 
the University of Arizona so that she could talk to my brother about 
what he does with genetics. 
 
Now, I’ll be honest with you. She flunked the course. But was does a 
slightly-used genetics textbook say to Jeff? “Hey. You’re a geneticist. 
Man, I’m committed to you.”  
 
And then of course all of the books that I had written in counseling and 
theology, they were up there. But how many seventy-six-year-old 
arthritic women do you know that were current, paid-up subscribers to 
“Heavy Equipment Digest” when they passed away?  
 
Well, that was my mom. She could sit and talk to my older brother, 
Joe, who builds roads with these D9 Push Cats, and she could talk to 
him about grade levels and things like that.  
 
You know, I grew up with a model of commitment: a mom who said, 
“Hey, whether you’re a heavy equipment driver, or whether you’re a 
doctor, or whether you’re counselor, or whatever you are, I’m 
committed to you.” 
 
So think about that with your kids. You know, bless them, be 
committed to them uniquely.  
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