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iQuestions Faculty, Dr. John Trent 
 
 
Question: 
 
How do we build a close family when we're so different? 
 
Answer: 
 
It’s a zoo around our house. I don’t know about you, but we are so 
different in our family. Like for example my wife and I, we’re so 
different. One of the only things we have in common is we were both 
married on the same day.  
 
She’s left-handed, I’m right-handed. I’m a night person, she’s a 
morning person. My wife wants the toilet paper to go off the top of the 
roll, I just want it there. I don’t really care, as long as it’s there.  
 
It’s the same thing with our kids. Just who is placed in our home—it 
just seems like we’re all over the map. It’s a zoo.  
 
Actually, in the last 20 years as I’ve worked with couples and families, 
I’ve helped people realize that part of the reason why it’s a zoo is 
because of how we’re wired, our personalities.  
 
For example: there are some of us in our homes that are like Lions. 
They’re the take-charge, charge up the hill kind of people. If you have 
a Lion child, they’re the ones that are letting you live at home. They 
just love to challenge and jump ahead. They’re the leader, basically.  
 
Then there are some of us that are like Otters. Otters love to yak-yak-
yak. These are the people that love to start things. They don’t finish 
very much, but they love to start things. They’re fun-loving, 
 
 
enthusiastic. They don’t balance the checkbook, they just switch 
banks. Just cheerleaders and party’s-waiting-to-happen.  
 
Then there are some people who are like Golden Retrievers. They’re 
sensitive and caring and compassionate. These are the people that buy 
18-20 boxes of Girl Scout cookies every year, because it’s genetically 
impossible to say one very small but very important word: “No.” But 
they’re great people and great to have on the team, and very sensitive 
and compassionate. 
 
And then—thank the Lord for these people—the Beavers, because 
they’re detailed and organized and precise. They actually remember to 
bring the food to the Christmas party. They’re great people. They have 
sock drawers—I mean, Otters have sock houses, basically. These are 
the people that are organized and precise. 
 
So take all of these, put them in the same family, and what do you 
have? Wild Kingdom.  
 
We’ll be able to look deeper, if you’d like to, at each one of these, but 
let me just share a quick principle with you. In our home, we’ve got a 
daughter who’s a Lion, we’ve got me that’s an Otter, we’ve got a 
younger daughter that’s a Golden Retriever, and my wife’s a Beaver. 
Now think about that.  
 
And yet, once you realize how valuable each unique person is, and 
how God has placed us right where he wants us to be in our home, it 
can give you a huge ability to value those in your family.  
Trent -2- 
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