To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
iQuestions Faculty, Dr. John Trent
Question:
How can I help my child who's struggling to really believe he has a
special future?
Answer:
It is so challenging for so many kids in the environment that they live
in. It can be vicious sometimes. It is so challenging for a kid to really
believe that they’re valuable.
One of the great things we get to do if we’re a parent is to really help
those kids to know “you can do something special. God can use you in
the future.”
Let me give you a quick example.
I grew up in a home with a twin brother and an older brother. They
were both really smart, but my twin brother is brilliant. We’re
fraternal; I can brag on him.
He graduated summa cum laude in college. I graduated “Lordy-how-
come.” He’s just this brilliant MD/PhD kind of person.
Back in high school, I can remember when we turned in our senior
term papers. Remember when you were in high school and you did the
big term paper? Jeff, my twin brother, gets what? He gets an A. That’s
all he ever got, was A’s.
What did I get? I got a D, as in dog.
I thought I had done a really good job, I hadn’t started until the night
before, but I had written it all out, and I had run out of typewriter
ribbon. (I’m really old. A typewriter, in case you don’t know, is kind of
like a word processor.) I had run out of typewriter ribbon and so I
hand-wrote the last few pages. I didn’t do footnotes because I had lost
the back page that had the footnote part. Obviously, I’m not a real
detail person.
But I thought I had done a great job. Did you ever see the movie A
Christmas Story— where the little boy thinks he’s done a great job on a
paper and everybody carries him around the room?
That’s what I thought. I thought I did great on this. It’s so well-
written. And then I get a D on this. Of course, Jeff’s gotten an A.
I will never forget my mom sitting at that kitchen table and saying
“Look at me.” So I lifted up my eyes. She knew you need to make
really good eye-contact when a kid is not feeling good about himself.
She goes, “You didn’t do the footnotes. Why didn’t you wake me up to
go get typewriter ribbon?” and I kind of dropped my head. But she
said, “Look at me. You do such a good job of using words, I wouldn’t
be surprised if you grew up and used words some day to help other
people.”
What a shock that I’m sitting here, getting to talk to you, and tell you
about some words that I hope encourages you, and about the way we
can speak in our kids’ lives and help them realize that they have a
special future.
The reason I’m able to do it is because I had a mom that saw
something in me that she was able to say—even though it was a D
paper and none of my teachers were telling me I had a special future—
but I’m thankful I had a mom that did.
Trent -2-
Be that kind of person to others, and to your kids if you have them.
Help them realize that, whatever God’s put into their life, they can
have a special future.
Trent -3-
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
Related Videos
I've got the kind of kid that starts a million things and doesn't finish any of them. What's that going to look like when he grows up?
Watch John Trent's Answer
Our child is so sensitive. How do we deal with a "Golden Retriever" child - particularly when she's living with a bunch of Lions?
Watch John Trent's Answer
Our child is always stressing about being organized. He's also a perfectionist. How can we get him to lighten up?
Watch John Trent's Answer