To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
 
 
iQuestions Faculty, Dr. John Trent 
 
 
Question: 
 
I've heard some people grow up with a 'curse' as a result of a broken 
family. Is this true? 
 
Answer: 
 
If you’ve clicked on this question, then I hate to say it, but you 
probably have experienced what I have—which is, wanting so much to 
get a parent’s blessing. 
 
That blessing, remember, is like taking money. That was a picture I 
used to talk about the blessing. The blessing is what you add to 
someone’s life, by that appropriate touch, by telling them that they’re 
valuable. Words that attach high value and picture a special future, 
people that say to us: “I’m committed to be there for you.” 
 
I hope and wish and pray that that was your experience growing up. 
But let’s say that, like me, you didn’t get those five things that were a 
part of blessing. 
 
My dad left when I was two and a half months old, and I never met 
him until I was in high school.  
 
I will never forget the first time I met my dad. It was when we were 
playing in a high school football game. It was in the local papers that 
my twin brother and I were playing in this big game, and my dad 
actually read the paper.  
 
He called my mom and said, “Can I come and watch the boys at the 
game?”  
 
 
 
My mom called us at school, got us out of class and said, “How would 
you like to meet your dad tonight?”  
 
I’ll never forget thinking, because all my life I had waited, and I just 
thought, “One day maybe I’ll get to meet him, and when I do I’ll get 
his blessing.”  
 
Here he is showing up at the biggest night of our lives—up to that 
point, of course—this big game. I won’t tell you who won (we lost), but 
at the end of the game I didn’t even care. I knew I was a winner 
because I was going to meet my dad, and I was going to get that 
blessing. I was going to have him add to my life, finally.  
 
We waited and waited after the game. My father never showed up.  
 
Later, I was to find out he was an alcoholic. He’d gotten at a place and 
stayed there. He just never bothered to come, never bothered to call.  
 
There is that deep sense of loss and hurt. You know what it is? 
Biblically, it’s a curse. Don’t think it’s something weird, it doesn’t mean 
Stephen-King-bloody-chicken-leg-at-midnight.  
 
The literal word for curse in the Bible means, listen to this, “to dam up 
the stream.” Think about that.  
 
What did I want from my dad? I wanted him to give me something. 
And yet, what did I get? It dammed up the stream, instead of that life-
giving water flowing down that I wanted so much from him. 
 
The bottom line was the stream was dammed up. Unfortunately with 
my dad, that’s the way it was. I did finally meet him, but even after I 
met him he didn’t give me the blessing. 
 
Trent -2- 
 
 
So, two things real quick if you never got it: 
 
Number one is there’s only one person strong enough to reverse a 
curse, and guess who that is. That’s the person of Jesus Christ. 
 
What did the Lord offer that woman at the well that was so thirsty? 
Living water.  
 
If you’re there and you’re just hurting so badly, and you’re at a place 
of dryness in your life because you never got that blessing growing up, 
then you need to look to the Lord, because He’s the one that can fill 
you up to overflowing with His love. 
 
The second thing is don’t sit there and go, “Oh, the past. That doesn’t 
affect me.” There are so many of us that think, “That was so many 
years ago, it doesn’t make any difference now.” 
 
If you missed the blessing, then dig into a book. Sit down with a 
person or a pastor or a counselor, and do some work in that area so 
that you’re really free to walk in all the fullness of life that God has for 
you.  
 
One last thing. There’s an incredible verse in the Bible that says this: 
“the Lord was not willing that the curse rest upon you.”  
 
In other words, God isn’t willing for that dryness in to be in your life. 
The Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, because 
the Lord your God loves you. 
 
A great way to reverse the curse is not only to look for God’s love in 
your life, but to also give the blessing to others. That means your 
spouse, your kids, and your friends.  
Trent -3- 
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.