To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
iQuestions Faculty, Dr. John Trent
Question:
It's a new year and I know I need to change some areas in my life.
How can I make these changes?
Answer:
I’m glad that you clicked on this. Whether it’s a new year, or just a
new time to make some changes in your life, you’ve got to ask
yourself the question, “How can I really change?”
Let’s face it, for a lot of us, change is very difficult. We might want to
change, but actually changing is really hard.
So what can make it easier? What can help you get from where you
are now to where you want to go?
One of the most powerful things that you need to realize is, when it
comes to change, the incredible importance of how small things can
change everything.
Let me give you an example of what I mean.
You’re a great driver, right? I don’t know you, but I bet you are.
Because guess what, in surveys we all think we’re better than average
drivers, so I’m sure you’re better than average.
The reason why you’re a better than average driver is because you
spend a lot of time making two-degree changes of your steering
wheel. To get from where you are to where you want to go, you’re
making small shifts of the wheel.
Think about that. The next time you go to work, or you drive to the
store, make ten degree changes the whole time. What’ll you end up
doing? Well, the DUI taskforce will pick you up, because that’s exactly
what they’re looking for: exaggerated movements.
Or do what I did—actually, don’t do what I did—which was fall asleep
at the wheel when I was driving.
I was near Socorro, New Mexico. It was dawn, early morning. The light
was just coming up. It was a beautiful morning, I think—I don’t know,
because I was asleep.
What had happened was, I was making great time, staying between
the lines, and I fell asleep and I went across six lanes of traffic. Thank
the Lord, there were no other cars coming that at time of day.
Let me ask you a question: does the drifting wake you up? No. I was
sleeping very comfortably while I was drifting.
What wakes you up, in my case, was that terrible sound when your
tires hit the gravel on the far side of the road.
I opened my eyes and I realized I was in huge trouble. So I think, “I
got a big problem. What do I need? I need a big solution!” and when I
yanked on the steering wheel, what did it do?
If you’re a paramedic or a fireman you know the answer to this. And
that is, when you yank the steering wheel 180 degrees at that speed
you roll the car, multiple times.
That is exactly what I see in peoples’ lives all the time. They quit
making two-degree changes; they start drifting, and now all of the
sudden they wake up. Their marriage or their career or their life with
Trent -2-
their kids is in really tough shape, and they think “I’ve got to make a
huge change.”
No, don’t do that. Instead, think about this: small changes are what
can change everything. Start thinking, “What are some things that I
can do right now, small things, that can help me move toward my
goal?”
A two-degree change may not seem like enough, but it gives you the
ability to make another small change, to make another small change,
and that can be a powerful way to genuinely make changes instead of
just talking about it.
Trent -3-
To download a printable version of this transcript, click here.
Related Videos
When my husband and I fight it gets ugly. How do we change this pattern?
Watch Tim Kimmel's Answer
Recently, I've been interpreting my husband's behavior negatively. All I notice are the things that frustrate, disappoint and hurt me. How can I change this?
Watch Greg Smalley's Answer
I am a baby-boomer grandparent, how does this compare to grandparenting of the previous generation?
Watch Tim and Darcy Kimmel's Answer