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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
I’ve suffered recent losses. I spend most of my time under a dark 
cloud of depression and grief. How do I begin to get out?  
 
Answer: 
 
At times do you feel like you’re smiling on the outside, but not on the 
inside? There’s such a thing as masked pain. There’s such a thing as 
repressed grief. 
 
I remember a time in my life when I could see people smiling, and yet 
I was kind of flat, emotionally. I didn’t have highs, I didn’t have lows. 
My aim was to try to be content, but I knew that I couldn’t laugh like 
other people could. This was when I was a teenager. 
 
I didn’t ever think about our home situation, comparing my situation 
to somebody else’s. But, we had a lot of pain. We had a lot of 
dysfunction—and that dysfunction was not fun. Somebody stole the 
“fun” out of dysfunction. Truthfully, when you grow up with a lot of 
pain, your normal isn’t normal, even though you’re not thinking about 
it that way. 
 
In Proverbs 14:13, listen to this: “Even in laughter, the heart may 
ache, and joy may end in grief”. You know, more and more, we should 
say, “Lord, I admit my pain. I see this pain, and I see how it has 
controlled me in the past. But, I’m going to choose to not let the past 
control me. Lord, thank You that You have a plan and a purpose for 
me. Thank You that Your love isn’t here today and gone tomorrow.” 
 
 
In Jeremiah 31:3, the Lord says, “I have loved you with an everlasting 
love. I have drawn you with loving kindness.” Some people hurt us 
because their love is not everlasting. Praise God that He does not have 
conditional love. It’s not based on you doing this or being that. His 
love for you has been for you from the beginning. He says, “I have 
loved you with an everlasting love”, and He has a plan and a purpose 
for you. And that plan is good. 
 
In spite of rejection, in spite of pain, you do not have to be controlled 
by your past. You can give control of your past, present, and future 
over to the Lord—and He, indeed, will heal that grief in your life. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hunt -2- 
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