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iQuestions Expert, Doug Rosenau 
 
 
Question: 
 
Why is the afterglow of love making important for a healthy sex life? 
 
Answer: 
 
Husbands, probably, even more than wives, after sex oftentimes don’t 
want an afterglow—and I’ll explain what I mean by afterglow—they 
just want to roll over and go to sleep. 
 
But by afterglow, we mean that time after perhaps both of you have 
climaxed, after you have had excitement and enjoyment. I think even 
for the wife, it’s important to be able to feel that sense of connection 
and closeness because she’s been very vulnerable. She’s opened 
herself up to you as her mate, as her husband.  
 
Afterglow could be anything from five minutes to the whole day 
afterward. Some wives will say, “Why does he grin like a Cheshire cat 
for a whole day?” And I’ll say, “It’s because he’s feeling so connected 
to you.” Another wife was saying, “You know, he talks more after sex. 
We have an afterglow, a time, probably about a half hour, and we just 
sit and talk and cuddle and hold.” 
 
I think it’s really important both to be able to cement the intimacy 
that’s been enjoyed together, and also to just have another facet of 
intimacy that kind of stems from the sexual lovemaking, and this is 
another part of that sexual lovemaking. And I think, in fairness, it also 
sets up for the next time. 
 
So, husbands, especially—don’t neglect the afterglow. Don’t neglect 
that time of bonding and connecting and enjoying each other. It may 
 
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just be a quick hug. It may be a minute or two. That may be all the 
time you have. Or it may be a time of real connecting in conversation. 
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