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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
I constantly feel that I am disappointing myself and others. I have a 
high expectation and rarely, if ever, live up to it. This causes me to 
feel like a constant failure. What is this? Is it perfectionism? 
Depression? How do I change?  
 
Answer: 
 
Do you know anyone who does not fail at times? We all fail. We all fail 
to do what we wish we would have done.  
 
The problem is, some people expect that they must not fail. They 
demand within themselves, “I cannot fail. I cannot make a mistake”. 
 
Where does that come from?  If you grew up in a perfectionistic home, 
or an abusive home, or an alcoholic home, a rejecting home, it can be 
like, “I have to have perfection”. You may not say those exact words, 
but whatever it is, it’s like the weight of the world is on your 
shoulders. 
 
What does God want?  Now actually, in some translations in the Bible, 
you may read, “aim for perfection”. But, actually the word that’s used 
is “wholeness”. It doesn’t mean “flawlessness”. In fact, the Bible says: 
“For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”. (Romans 
3:23) 
 
God knows we are going to fail His standard of perfection. But, that’s 
not the issue. We want to be whole in our thinking. What is helpful 
now is for you to realize, you have got to change your dynamic in 
terms of thinking. “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 
 
Timothy 6:6) Can you be content just doing your best? That’s what 
God wants. In other words, we should desire to be the person God 
created us to be—and when you become the person God create you to 
be, then you will do what He created you to do. 
 
Perfectly? Flawlessly? It’s very interesting. God has a different view of 
this. In fact, I was very surprised when I first became a Christian and I 
read this passage. This is in II Corinthians 12: “My grace is sufficient 
for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness”.  And I remember 
reading this as a new Christian, and I thought, “God doesn’t want us 
to be weak.” But you see, the point here is that it is Christ’s power in 
us that is our strength. It’s not us thinking that you have to do 
everything perfectly, because you can’t do everything perfectly.  
 
Can you be content, saying, “In my weakness, God can be strong?” In 
fact, let me ask you a question, “If you could do everything perfectly, 
would you need God?” 
 
You know, when you think about fruit, there typically are flaws, there 
may be a mark here that’s not a perfect color all the way around. 
That’s not important. Just abide in Him, remain in Him, and you will 
bear much fruit—but it doesn’t have to be perfect. Godliness with 
contentment is great gain for you. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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