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iQuestions Experts, Michael Sytsma 
 
 
Question: 
 
What can help create an atmosphere for great lovemaking? 
 
Answer: 
 
What can create the atmosphere for great lovemaking?  I’m so glad 
you asked that question. In fact, it’s a question that very few people 
tend to ask, and it’s one of the most important questions that can be 
asked in your marriage, and to improve your lovemaking. 
 
Without asking that question, it’s kind of like going out to the golf 
course and expecting to get a great score, when nobody has taken 
care of the field. There are divots everywhere and there are weeds 
growing everywhere.  
 
Many times, our marriages get like that, where we just haven’t taken 
care of it: the atmosphere is not set up any longer for things to go 
smoothly and for us to do really good. 
 
I think scripture gives great answer. Christ is talking to his bride in 
Revelation 4, and He says, “Oh, wow. You’ve done such a good job in 
staying committed to me. Your covenant, I really admire that and I 
commend you for that.  
 
“But there’s this problem. See, you’ve forsaken your first love. You’ve 
fallen out of that early love with me”—an experience that many 
couples talk about having themselves.  
 
 
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He gives this prescription for us; He says, “Remember what you used 
to do. Repent that you’re not doing it any longer, and go do it again.” 
Very simple: remember, repent, and do. 
 
So, your task is to remember what the things were that you did early 
in your relationship. What were the things you enjoyed doing while 
you were dating? 
 
I used to walk almost ten minutes just to spend three minutes with 
this girl that I was falling in love with. Today, I’m married to her, and 
it’s tough sometimes to remember to go three minutes to spend ten 
minutes with her. Just wasting time together—the touches. A lot of 
things we do early on in the relationship, we need to remember that 
we did those. Then we need to repent. 
 
“Man. You know what? I’m not doing those anymore. I’m sorry. I need 
to go back to doing them. Repent means to turn around and go back 
to it.” And then the third point: just go do those again. 
 
So, remember what you did when you were first falling in love. Repent 
that you haven’t been doing them, confess that to each other, and 
then go do them again. 
 
It doesn’t take very long at all before you’ve reestablished the 
atmosphere for some great lovemaking as a couple. 
 
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