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iQuestions Expert, Michael Sytsma
Question:
How can we recapture the excitement of our dating days?
Answer:
Many of us remember fondly those early days of falling in love, and
would really like to recapture that feeling of a lot of energy and
excitement.
Our bodies are made to do that. When we first fall in love, our body
releases a hallucinogenic, a speed-like chemical, into our system.
Whenever we’re thinking about the person we’ve fallen in love with,
we truly get this high type of a feeling, and it’s very enjoyable.
The reality of it is, a couple of years into the relationship, that
chemical release begins to decrease. It’s replaced by another chemical
that’s really important for us, as well: it’s a bonding chemical that
helps us to feel connected and helps us to feel close to each other.
And I think that’s part of how our bodies are designed. We would
really like to go back to that high type of a feeling, and that’s not very
normal. That’s not how we are created. It’s not how we are made to
do.
There are a couple of times that we could go back to that. Sometimes
during sex, if we work on decreasing the stress in the relationship, if
we work on enhancing the time that we spend together, just in our fun
dates and enjoying time touching and holding each other.
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And then our research tells us that if your dates involve very active
things like going bowling, or maybe going for a walk or a bicycle ride,
things that energize your body anyway, it also helps to bring back that
feeling.
But you probably won’t ever get back to that full feeling of early love,
because our bodies aren’t meant to do that, but we can still enjoy a
really rich time together as a couple.
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