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 1 
iQuestions Expert, Michael Sytsma 
 
 
Question: 
 
My wife just went through menopause and is indifferent to sex. There 
are no physical reasons why she's this way. Could it be psychological? 
 
Answer: 
 
You defined the physical reason why she might be indifferent to sex 
after menopause: she just went through menopause. 
 
That’s a really big physical change for her system. She has just gone 
through hormone withdrawal. What creates sexual desire but our 
hormones? 
 
Having all of those gone from her might be the physical reason why 
she’s having difficulty with sexual desire. Don’t discount that, and 
don’t ask her to be somebody that, physically, she’s not right now. 
 
She can experience sexual desire again, but that may be part of what’s 
going on. So, to say it’s not physical may not be caring for her real 
well.  
 
The second part of your question is, “Could it be psychological?” Well, 
definitely it can be psychological. She’s gone through a big change. 
How does she see herself? Does she still see herself as alluring, as 
very sensual, as very sexual, as attractive to you? 
 
You can help with that by how you approach her, and by how you still 
nurture and care for her, and how you tell her how beautiful she is. 
 
 
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Have you been careful going through menopause? Have you helped to 
nurture her through that process? 
 
There can be a number of things that are going on. Sit down and talk 
about it. Share with her, here’s what you are experiencing, that it 
seems like having gone through menopause, she is not as interested in 
you any longer. Talk with her about how that makes you feel, that you 
are missing her, that you really enjoy the time with her. 
 
See if she has some ideas for you of what’s going on, and how she’s 
approaching it, and then set a plan for what you guys would like to be 
different. It may be scheduling some time together. It may be just 
going out and having some romantic dates, and working on allowing 
that passion to revive again. 
 
Can going through menopause bring about this change? Most 
definitely. And it can be physical, or it can be what’s going on 
relationally, or within her. Keep talking about it. You guys will figure it 
out. 
 
 
 
 
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