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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
Someone I love is struggling with an eating disorder. Why does she 
eat so little and what can I do to help?  
 
Answer: 
 
Typically, when eating disorders are mentioned, most people think of 
anorexia or bulimia, even though it could be compulsive eating. But, 
let’s talk about anorexia and bulimia. In truth, those who have that 
kind of eating disorder feel inadequate. They don’t feel valuable. They 
struggle with feelings of low self-worth. Why? Well, there could be 
abuse in the home. Actually, the reason I have found most prevalent 
is; a very hard, perfectionistic parent or two; a very performance-
oriented home; receiving conditional love instead of unconditional 
love. Therefore, this person who is anorexic; typically a girl, although 
it could be a boy; they feel out of control.   
 
In fact, if you look at the life of Princess Diana before her death, she 
ultimately admitted she struggled with bulimia. When you look at her 
life, she felt like she was in a fishbowl. She was basically told that 
nothing she was doing was right and she had a husband who was 
having an affair. She felt worthless, she felt powerless, she felt 
inadequate, she felt driven to do something that would be of value. 
She did do valuable things, reaching out to others who were basically 
feeling hopeless.  
 
Let’s look at the dynamic. If a person feels powerless, what’s the one 
thing that person can do? Well, that person can control how long food 
will stay in the mouth, or if there will be any food going in the mouth, 
at all. Typically, we’re talking about a distortion—a distortion of one’s 
 
image. I’m going to read to you what we state in our Biblical 
Counseling Keys: “I’m so fat. No one could love me. I hate who I am. 
The only way I can be loved is to be in control of my body and get to 
the right size.” You know, size doesn’t have anything to do with our 
God-given value. That’s not what God says is paramount. In fact, 
instead of the wrong belief, the right belief is; the issue in life is not 
my size, but to see myself through God’s eyes.   
 
I said there’s a distortion, a distortion of one’s image. The Lord loves 
you just the way you are. He created you. He’s the One who designed 
a plan, and He has a purpose for you. You are so significant that God 
has preplanned what He has for you to not only be, but also do.   
 
How can you truly help someone in this case? Well, I have found that 
those who struggle with anorexia and bulimia are crying out for help. 
They want help. And, they need to have a mindset correction. 
Specifically, Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right, 
but in the end it leads to death”. Help the one who’s struggling know; 
they have value, they have worth, they have meaning, they have 
purpose, and by God’s design they are not to be controlled by some 
outer substance like food, or a lack of food. They need to be touched—
and I literally mean that. Touched. Treated tenderly.   
 
It’s a process of change that typically takes a long time. But, with you 
being committed to help, you could literally save that struggler’s life. 
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