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iQuestions Faculty, June Hunt 
 
 
Question: 
 
How do I move past the pain of childhood sexual abuse in my own life?  
 
Answer: 
 
There’s nothing that penetrates the heart of a child more than 
childhood sexual abuse. It penetrates in such a way that there is true 
damage done.  
 
What do you do so that you won’t continue, as an adult, to be a 
victim? In other words, victimization occurs when you are powerless. 
You’re genuinely powerless to do anything about the situation, which is 
true in the case of childhood sexual abuse.  
 
Children do not have the skills, they don’t have the ability, and they 
haven’t been trained to withstand childhood sexual abuse. Most 
children have not been trained, they are told, “obey your elders.” Well, 
that can be someone six months older than the child. 
 
The point is, when there has been victimization, it can move into a 
victim’s mentality. You see, the power that keeps you in bondage is 
keeping the secret. We’re only as sick as our secrets. The power for 
healing is letting go of the secret. It’s truth that sets us free. 
 
If you have been ravaged by childhood sexual abuse—even though it 
was not your shame, or your guilt, and regardless of the situation or 
what happened afterwards, and regardless of what you did as a result 
of the abuse, including the things you’re not proud of—you need to 
talk it out.  Pain expressed is pain released. 
 
 
 
Then I suggest that you actually consider going and confronting the 
perpetrator, when it is safe. Why? Because typically, a victim feels 
powerless. So, here’s the victimizer who may be in the family, who 
may be the parent, or someone at church, or wherever, but the 
problem is never addressed.  
 
I know a woman, a singer, very talented, and very gifted. She had 
been victimized by her brother, but had never spoken of it. She 
became a Christian and went to him one day. She called him on the 
phone, flew into town, and set up this meeting. “I want to talk with 
you.” He thought it would just be, you know, brother-sister comments 
and conversation. She said, “I want you to know that I remember the 
sexual abuse that occurred between the two of us. I remember what 
you’ve done. I remember many things that I’ve never spoken of, and I 
have chosen to forgive you. I want you to come to know Jesus in a 
personal way, because, you see, He’s changed my life. He’s truly 
healed me. And, I want you to know Him, because He can make all the 
difference in the world, in your life.”  
 
Although most perpetrators deny anything happened, realize your 
words, by God’s Spirit, can be used in the perpetrator’s mind.  
 
I’ll tell you what happened in this true situation. Three weeks later, 
this man came face-to-face with his depravity, his sin, his wrong-doing 
and accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. He has a 
changed life through Christ. 
 
Face the truth of your past victimization. Face the truth that you need 
to tell someone. Face the truth that it’s not your guilt, it’s not your 
shame, and face the truth that God offers healing. In Proverbs 34:18 
the Bible says, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves 
those who are crushed in spirit.” He knows you have been broken-
hearted, and He has hope and help for you. 
 
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